>>
>>1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic.
>> Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat
>> and presto. The blockage will be almost instantly
>> removed.
>>
>>2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing
>> vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while
>> you chop away.
>>
>>3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the
>> toilet seat by simply using the sink.
>>
>>4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut
>> yourself and bleed for few minutes, thus reducing the
>> pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.
>>
>>
>>5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock,
>> will prevent you from rolling over and going back to
>> sleep after you hit the snooze button.
>>
>>6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of
>> laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.
>>
>>7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a
>> hammer and you will forget about the toothache.
>>
>>8. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of
>> life really are: You only need two tools: WD-40 and
>> Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the
>> WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct
>> tape.
>>
>>
>>9. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know
>> them.
>>
>> Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.
>>
>> If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get
>> another chance.
>>
>> And finally, be really nice to your family and
>> friends; you never know when you might need them to
>> empty your bedpan
>

thats where its at right there!

#1 is the Blonde Heimlich

#5...............Where'* theat dang mousetrap.......I gotta work in the morning!!!!!

Very good Tracy, you brightened my day!