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Old 07-18-2006, 12:11 AM   #1
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Default After 11 years its over

Well I just got off the phone with Renee. After 11 years she wants to try with someone else. I knew it was coming for a few reasons.
I was basically her first and she has never been with someone else ( relationship, not what you are thinking), she has mentioned before that she would like to try with other people before making it official with me, ( better now then after we are married).

She has been traveling with a couple of people for the last 2 weeks for work ( 12 hour graveyard rebuilding blast furnaces), so she has developed feelings for a guy that until a few weeks ago, smoked ( she hates smokers), did drugs ( same feeling), has 5 kids ( we talked about not having kids), is divorced, does NOT even have a place of his own to live, he is staying with his cousin.

I have had the feeling in my gut that something was up, so tonight I called her out on it. She was going to wait till I was at home on Wed, but I beat her to it.


I managed to call Jim W, to calm down a bit, but I am still lost.


I could be mean about things, since I pay for her life insurance, her health insurance, cell phone, car insurance, etc... BUT like I told her, in the off chance that she sees that the grass isn't greener on the other side, I will still be there for her.


I have NO CLUE what to do, so I figured I would post here.
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Old 07-18-2006, 12:21 AM   #2
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been there, done that, i'm here for you buddy. i'm in chat every night... you can roll in there and bitch to your hearts content.
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Old 07-18-2006, 12:22 AM   #3
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I think you handled it the best you could.


You just can't be a complete dick in the end, but one thing is I'd quit paying for all the insurances and cell phone and stuff though if she'* gonna go with another person, I'd cut that stuff ASAP. If she comes back, I'd be leary about everything happening again, but, that'* all a judgement call, if she returns, then I'd pay for her insurances and stuff again.....But until then that'd be getting the axe.


I feel for ya though Mike, been in the same boat before, it'* rough, but you'll get through it.....

Go hit the bars and find some lizadies now boy!
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Old 07-18-2006, 12:24 AM   #4
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Oh my god dude, I'm extremely sorry.

I may have never dated. But I have seen a couple of situations like this. My advice may be small but I think it'll go a long way. I think you should let Renee do what she wants, I know you don't want to let her go but I say try to be supportive and like you said you had a feeling so it'* not a complete shock. Basically just don't scream like a manic at her, it'll just widen the gap between you guys, just say "Renee, ok, that'* fine you have rights to divorce me and go off to another guy, I may not like it but I'm not going to argue. All I want you to be happy, and alway know that I will alway be your friend through thick and thin."

Again you do not have to take this advice, I'm merely trying to help you out. The Bonneville Gang will console you if you need it buddy
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Old 07-18-2006, 01:02 AM   #5
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Well I just spent another hour on the phone with her. I just wish this never happened. I am still looking for the good that came out of this. Right now I can't see it. I agree that I should stop paying for everything right now. But we are going to have to take this one step at a time. We are starting off, that she will give me enough $$$ to pay off our line of credit ( about 7,000$). That will leave her with nothing, but I have been supporting her completely for the last 3 years and can't afford it anymore.

She agreed that I make a list of what is owed from the last 3 years or more and she will find a way to pay for it. She will also pay me for the things I am paying for at the moment, the only reason for that is that, if she comes back then she will still have it, cause if I cancel life insurance, or health benefits etc... then it will take a while to build it back up to the way it was.

Maybe I am kidding myself but she has said many times she does not want to loose me, but I told her in the last conversation that if I don't break it off completely ( intimately) then she will think that it is fine to be with someone else and still have me. I told her that it probably will come to a point where she WILL have to choose, but for now, I will let her "try" with someone else and hope that it doesn't work out.

I am just going to take this day by day, and hope to see another day. Due to my job, I don't really have many friends to rely on, since I am never home. So I have maybe a couple of people to rely on. Now will be the time to see who my true friends are.
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Old 07-18-2006, 01:08 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sse1990
So I have maybe a couple of people to rely on. Now will be the time to see who my true friends are.
Buddy, we are your friends, we can't say that we're your true friends (it'* your call) but we'll definitely be there for you when you need it dude.

My hopes lies with you.
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Old 07-18-2006, 02:11 AM   #7
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Mike, you bitch. You're paying my celly bill.

We're here. Don't forget that. Now get in the car, fill it up, and get out here.
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Old 07-18-2006, 02:16 AM   #8
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<<virtual hug>>.... life sucks at times... just take things day by day. When my marriage ended after 15 yrs and 4 kids, I couldn't understand what good would come of it. That was 5 1/2 yrs ago....and I see now that I'm a better person than when I was with my ex.

Sometimes you can't make life be what you want it to be...sometimes it takes its own course and you just have to ride it out... sorry to hear it ...but we're here for you.

...and YES! Come to WCBF! Best therapy for what ails ya!
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Old 07-18-2006, 02:17 AM   #9
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Hmmm, looking at having to drive 2539.1 miles, I think I will have to pass.
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Old 07-18-2006, 05:21 AM   #10
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Hey guys, it'* now 4 am my time and I got all of MAYBE 30 mins sleep.

I really appreciate the offers in PM'*,

Cheetah, I thank you for your numbers, I may just have to use them

Willwren, I thank you for answering your phone, I needed that.

singscountry1967 I am about 6 hours NORTH of Niagara falls Ontario. I don't know if it is the lack of sleep but I am going to take my statement back and I just may decide to take you up on that offer. All my life when life got me down, I always had my vehicle to fall back on, and you know what, what better then to get the chance to drive other peoples rides, and finally get to meet the great people of BC.

I am really re-considering it. I am thinking if there is any kind of possibility of me leaving my car in Toronto, at Jim W ( once I talk to him), and find a way to Niagara Ontario, then find a ride to meet you or someone else, I can be another driver to get there quicker. I would not take my Malibu all the way there, even though it would be damn cool to take it on the track. Problem is, with my luck, well, let'* just say if it wasn't for bad luck, I wouldn't have any luck at all.


Yes I am having a hard time typing this cause I am thinking of her, but also thinking of the support I am getting from you guys, considering I have not met any of you, hard to type with tears in your eyes.


Time to get personal here.
I know I can look at this many ways, for one, she did it this time and will do it again. On the other hand, I have seen people "separate" for a bit and once they got back together, any problem that used to exist was minute and they were happy together. I know there are cases in the middle of that. Anyhow, my problem is that I am the type of person that needs to have someone else there for me, I need that personal touch, I need that voice on the other end of the phone, and I don't mean you Will. She has been that person for a very long time. Granted, yes we have had our problems and I may not have felt that she was the one, but I don't think I know what it is like to meet "the one". Time to change the subject a bit to lighten the mood ( for me).


Back to my first love, cars. I currently have in my possession, the white 90 SSE, her first car, the one that we blew the motor in. This past weekend I pulled the AC out of it. I may look at pulling the motor and trans, just because I can. I will probably pull the headlights and the tail lights are pretty bad. I mentioned to Matt (sseimatt93), that I think it is time that the white car met with the other end of a baseball bat. The car will never see the road again anyhow, and maybe, just maybe this might help me get over things. Maybe not, but hell it just might be fun.

As for the Grey 90 SSE, she paid for it with her own $$$ and it IS under my name but only for insurance purposes, which doesn't matter anymore. She will have to transfer it to her name and get her own insurance, but I can't leave her without a car. I am just not that kind of person. So once all is said and done, I will loose all access I had to Bonnevilles, now I think THAT will be the hardest on me.


Sorry for the extremely long post, but this is the only "therapy" have right now.

I will have to make the decision this upcoming week as to go or not. I think maybe THIS is my time to start LIVING, at the age of 31, I might just need a change.


EDIT: on a side note, this is the most I have typed and NOT had spelling mistakes, ok I had 1 or 2, but usually I have a bunch of them.
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