Did you ever get the three blocks off the back of the fuse block to check the contacts?

You should be getting happier NOT upset. You now know you are working in the right area.

I don't see how my headlights going out says I've found my fuel relay problem. I'll try to pull it apart again tomorrow and we'll see how it goes. hopefully this is an obvious fix, but I'm not going to hold my breath for it.

The fuse block you are messing with powers many circuits. Understand now?

I wound up going to the junkyard to aggressively teardown a fuse block, just so I didn't have to break anything on my own car. no wonder I was having trouble, there'* a pair of clips on each fuse block connector that you would never know about unless you had broken them before. I'll include a picture in case any future people are following along on this repair.

Anyhoodle, I got the connectors off and the backsides of them are very shiny and clean. same thing for the pins they attached to. I guess I should test the pcm signal connector wire?

those two clips are on the long sides of the connectors, dead center, a smaller flatblade screwdriver will free them no problem.

Is anyone there? no noticeable corrosion on the pins...

At the area where the headlights and fuel pump are fed look at the pins and be sure they are connected correctly and have good tension. This requires physical attention as it may look perfect.

I would pierce circuit #465, dk green/white tracer, with a piercing tool and attach a test light to ground.....

Then turn key to "on", and test light should light for 2 seconds, and relay should click...if you crank vehicle, it should be on constant while cranking....if it lights but relay does not click, the problem is the wire from there to the fuse block, or the connection in the fuse block, since you said the only line that failed was #465....

If it doesn't light, then the problem is the line back to the PCM, the PCM, or there is a security problem.....You did check for B codes?

When I scan the car I get no codes. I haven't tried to scan it while the problem is occurring though, I imagine that any codes would be stored though right?