Ok..so what is a good move here

How much? no letter? ok...card sure

The amount is really up to you based on what you feel comfotable with, financially. Group her with second cousins/shirt-tail relationships as far as a dollar amount.

My point to you Jim, was to not let yourself become a sentimental fool.

Yeah Moms know a thing or two, and if you had gone you would have had a great time.
Next time you'll have this experience to help you decide and who knows maybe you wont go next time either?

Is this a Catholic wedding? if so dont send money, money in person is ok. A card and a small gift is nice, vase or picture.

Well the next wedding I am invited to, I HAVE to be there

I'm in the wedding party...the groom to be and I go WAY back

Okay Jim, as someone who has gone through the same thing, I understand, it is a hard choice and you had every right to make the one you did. I must stress now, DO NOT SEND MONEY!!!!!!! Trust me she will be insulted. What you need to do now is yes send a card, a nice non-feeling card...eg: congrats on your wedding, good luck in the future, stuff like that. Also send along a gift, like a vase, or candle holders, or a nice picture. Something that she will look and think of you as a friend, and have fond memories of. I hope this helps.

Good point mom...

Just since I didnt go to the reception, the dinner was not paid for, I feel lousy about that too... :(

Ugh...well...I appreciate the insights...

Thank you

Why was the dinner not paid for??? Another reason not to give money....anyway, if she is truly a friend she will understand, and I hope that her husband will understand, you are a friend and sometimes that is the most important thing to be. Especially when a woman is looking for a mans take on things, like say an arguement she had with hubby.

Good Luck Jim!!!

Okay, 350 kms is 270 miles (had to do the math). Right there you got a legitamite reason for not going. And you said she was a friendn ot family, bot best friend. Friend. That makes it a very legitamite reason for not going. If y'all were still hanging out every day, it might be different, but you said this was someone you ended up "on speaking terms with".

So you couldn't afford almost a tank of gas each way (off the top of my head estimate, I know), or a room for the night, or any other reason. Sending a card and gift should show them at least you were thinking of them. If the fact that you weren't there bothers them, then they have a bigger problem than you do.

In my personal opinion, Mom doesn't factor into the equation, unless she was going too.


But then again, I'm old, callous and cynical...

wha? what is this?! Guiding light? As tha World turns? I dunno Jim maybe U shoulda went to that wedding, it could have cleared up a lot of feelings, then again it could have brought back a lot of old ones...... Do you truly feel like U did the right thing?
Pontiac Moms right thou don't send her money, her husband will OWN U and she will be offended like Mom also said do U think she'* worth 120 dollars