*sigh*

Where to begin.

Back when I was in college their was this girl that I was very much in love with. Her and I were very close friends. It stayed that way because she had a long term yet long distance boyfriend. Anyway. We kept it very friendly. I ended up getting her a job at my office and our friendship continued.

I was really pleased with the way things were going. As time past we began to get more distant, we stopped hanging out, but we still were on speaking terms

Lets fast forward a bit. Last Christmas her boyfriend proposed. I was invited to the wedding.

It was held yesterday over 350 kms north of here.

I chose not to go, i had my reasons and I intend on getting them a nice gift...but I'm struggling with the aftermath of not going. Can I speak to her again? I feel like I should just fade away...

I dunno

What do you folks think?

If it makes her happy, and it'* meant to be, you can't mess with that. Some girls are better off as just friends, as you could ruin A LOT by doing stuff with them (Don't even get me started bro). Let em know you're still there, but let her do her life. Can never have too many friends, but there is a point in life where you need more (ala BonneMe)

Dont knock yourself around for it Jim. Whats done is done and you had your reasons. She knew your feelings and I'm sure she will understand even if she doesnt agree with them.

For the record

My past romantic persuasions for her didn't affect my decision not to go...thats long over...

My mom is not to impressed that I didnt go

oh..friend advice...this i actually can offer something of value (maybe or not, but more so then the car stuff that goes over my head )...

So, you didn't go...that'* you're choice, it'* over and done with and not everyone can go to everyones wedding. You could have very well had plans or whatnot, which you didn't mention having it, but point being there are good reasons for not going whatever yours might have been. So, here'* what I've found from having my good friends in relationships- if you can be happy because she'* living the life with the person that makes her happy, then I don't think there'* any reason you can't still be friends. If you find that something is blocking that attitude, then there might be cause to back off. I don't think I really answered the question...but ahh well, it was a nice rambling :?

*Ouch* the Mom factor, well if your decision not to go had nothing with past romance then why should you feel guilty?

Your mom just wanted you to play "nice". Whether its pride or inconvenience, you chose not to go and that is that. You said you were going to get them a gift. That'* great (don't spend too much).

She should not take offense at your absense. If she does, then she is/was not aware of your feelings towards her. Anyways, its over. Don't grind your guts over something that you can do nothing about.

You just have to do what your heart tells you.

Yeah...I have been regretting not going all day, the mom factor didnt help...but whadda ya gonna do

I was planning on a $120 cheque, a letter and a nice card

Dude!....that is a little much for an old (almost) flame. A check is impersonal enough for a situation like this, but don't throw that much bread at a ghost! Kill the letter, too. Just find a pretty card and write a nice sentiment in it.