I didn't bring the hammer to the bar :P with my friends, I'd come to sitting nekkid on an upside down barstool

Honestly they wouldn't kick in til later, even on the non-drinking nights: Mondays and Wednesdays

but my wife has seen it and even dragged me to the ER a bunch of times, only to be told what I already knew: they don't know what it is and can't do anything for me/it.