Embarrassing....what to do...what to do...
06-04-2006, 10:22 PM
#61
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Originally Posted by ssei1995
2000SilverBullet
I want to apologize if I am a bit too harsh in my comments. I have lots of experience due to the fact I was raised around lots of my cousins, being a martial arts instructor to kids for over 20 years, being an engineering manager with lots of fresh, out-of-college engineers, being a father to four kids, and also being a youth counselor at my church.
First at all, cut-off all the perks starting with the cell phone, cars and/or any other things to make her life easy. She is 18 years old, therefore, she is technically an adult. Call her game and give ger an ultimatum: get your sh*t together, or you are out the door; PERIOD!!! You have to make her acountable for her actions. I had a parent at church that experienced the same; her daughter stole the credit card and charged $5,000.00 and then took his car and totalled with friends while partying. This is not taking into account a cell phone bill for $500.00 for 3 consecutive months!!! I had the parent call the cops and report both the card and car stolen. She got arrested along with her friends. She got the biggest scare of her life; her friend'* parents got upset with them and did not allow their kids hang out with her anymore; therefore, no friends to hang out with.
Her daughter insulted them and threatened to leave, so, they told her she had two options: get her life straigthen and abide by their rules, then she could stay home; or, hit the road. She tried to tell them she was not leaving, that it was her house and she would do whatever she pleased. Afterwards she left to go to a party, they changed the locks and put all her stuff in the driveway. She came back, started to yell and scream and broke a window trying to get in, so, they called the cops and she got arrested again. SHe was released and tried to move with her grandparents, however, they new better, and only allowed her to stay for two days and they had her leave too.
After moving with a freind for a month, she was kicked out and eventually she retruned home under their conditions; she is now in her 2nd year at a community college doing very well.
I want to apologize if I am a bit too harsh in my comments. I have lots of experience due to the fact I was raised around lots of my cousins, being a martial arts instructor to kids for over 20 years, being an engineering manager with lots of fresh, out-of-college engineers, being a father to four kids, and also being a youth counselor at my church.
First at all, cut-off all the perks starting with the cell phone, cars and/or any other things to make her life easy. She is 18 years old, therefore, she is technically an adult. Call her game and give ger an ultimatum: get your sh*t together, or you are out the door; PERIOD!!! You have to make her acountable for her actions. I had a parent at church that experienced the same; her daughter stole the credit card and charged $5,000.00 and then took his car and totalled with friends while partying. This is not taking into account a cell phone bill for $500.00 for 3 consecutive months!!! I had the parent call the cops and report both the card and car stolen. She got arrested along with her friends. She got the biggest scare of her life; her friend'* parents got upset with them and did not allow their kids hang out with her anymore; therefore, no friends to hang out with.
Her daughter insulted them and threatened to leave, so, they told her she had two options: get her life straigthen and abide by their rules, then she could stay home; or, hit the road. She tried to tell them she was not leaving, that it was her house and she would do whatever she pleased. Afterwards she left to go to a party, they changed the locks and put all her stuff in the driveway. She came back, started to yell and scream and broke a window trying to get in, so, they called the cops and she got arrested again. SHe was released and tried to move with her grandparents, however, they new better, and only allowed her to stay for two days and they had her leave too.
After moving with a freind for a month, she was kicked out and eventually she retruned home under their conditions; she is now in her 2nd year at a community college doing very well.
wellI do have to agree. when I turned 17 my parents were being stupid, mad that I was into drugs, drinking, etc, They were controlling, they basically took away all my privledges so I moved out with little cash, got a decent job and student loan, put myself thru 2 years of college and got out and got a decent paying job.....Either way it was better if I left early.
06-05-2006, 01:55 AM
#62
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Oh my God Paul,I read all this and I dont know what to say.I have 2 girls 15 and 16 and they are very good , we have the odd small problem such as 15 year old not doing school work and is failing classes but she is not allowed out until her classes are brought up and she will be going to summer school, she did run away to her friends house over night and we never called looking for her, when she came back the next day I told her thats the last time, you leave again and your not welcome back I wont even look for you.Anyways I love my girls to death and thankfully my problems are minute compared to yours.You are doing the right thing sending her packing, both my girls know you dont want to live by the rules you can leave.Hang in there, keep your boy on the right track.
06-05-2006, 01:06 PM
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Paul, Jessica is now 14, and I do understand about the whole change in attitude. As soon as Jessica hit high school, she started, actually I should say that she tried to cop an attitude with us. We did not allow it, and from day one, we laid down the law, I made sure that nothing was bothering her, and that she understood that we love her, and that she was not doing drugs. It all came to a head at Easter this year, she was being a little B...., in front of my parents and that was it. We had a major blow out, she was able to yell and scream, and then she realized how stupid she sounded and after that, the attitude change. My kids are spoiled, I know this, they each have their own computer, personal DVD player, Jessica has a full size stereo in her room, but the kids also know that we will take all these things away in a heart beat.
The problem we had with Jessica was that she was not doing her homework, and unlike most kids who have this problem, their parents do not work in the school. Well lets just say, that poor Jessica, she can't away with that, seeing that the principal of the school is a friend, and all the teachers will e-mail me if she has missed even one assignment.
Paul I know that you love your daughter, and I know that Laura does as well, and you want what is best for her, but sometimes the best kind of love is the tough love. If Jessica swore at either one of us, she would not be able to sit for a week! O'Neil would not have stood for it. I know that Laura had to hold you back and now you are praying, but sometimes teenagers need to learn the hard way.
The problem we had with Jessica was that she was not doing her homework, and unlike most kids who have this problem, their parents do not work in the school. Well lets just say, that poor Jessica, she can't away with that, seeing that the principal of the school is a friend, and all the teachers will e-mail me if she has missed even one assignment.
Paul I know that you love your daughter, and I know that Laura does as well, and you want what is best for her, but sometimes the best kind of love is the tough love. If Jessica swore at either one of us, she would not be able to sit for a week! O'Neil would not have stood for it. I know that Laura had to hold you back and now you are praying, but sometimes teenagers need to learn the hard way.
06-05-2006, 01:29 PM
#64
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Originally Posted by PontiacMom
My kids are spoiled, I know this, they each have their own computer, personal DVD player, Jessica has a full size stereo in her room, but the kids also know that we will take all these things away in a heart beat.
I got a year and a half to go before I ain't no stinkin' teenager anymore
06-05-2006, 10:05 PM
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After I gave her the ultimatum she calmed down and actually cleaned and vacuumed her room last night. Didn't know she knew how to use a vacuum. 
Tonight when I got home from work she is at work. The Dairy Queen store in this town is not very organized. She has to phone them to find out if she is needed for work.
Taking one day at a time right now.
I really appreciate the concern and advice. It helps.
Another "package" arrived in the mail today. One of the Ebay purchases. A digital video camera. The bill is $285, compared to what I paid for mine. She did tell me about that one and said she will pay for it. We'll see. I'm sure I could get my money back on that one if she doesn't pay.
So as usual, she won't be home until I am sleeping and she will be sleeping when I leave for work.
The Pontiac Club show and shine happens this weekend in Vancouver and I can't decide if I should go and trust her at home alone......on her Birthday. :?
The original plan was for it to be a family trip but now I can't get that excited about it.
Laura goes everywhere with me and does not want to be left home.
It'* a once a year event and I've already paid my fee to enter my pristine Formula Firebird.
Tonight when I got home from work she is at work. The Dairy Queen store in this town is not very organized. She has to phone them to find out if she is needed for work.
Taking one day at a time right now.
I really appreciate the concern and advice. It helps.
Another "package" arrived in the mail today. One of the Ebay purchases. A digital video camera. The bill is $285, compared to what I paid for mine. She did tell me about that one and said she will pay for it. We'll see. I'm sure I could get my money back on that one if she doesn't pay.
So as usual, she won't be home until I am sleeping and she will be sleeping when I leave for work.
The Pontiac Club show and shine happens this weekend in Vancouver and I can't decide if I should go and trust her at home alone......on her Birthday. :?
The original plan was for it to be a family trip but now I can't get that excited about it.
Laura goes everywhere with me and does not want to be left home.
It'* a once a year event and I've already paid my fee to enter my pristine Formula Firebird.
06-05-2006, 10:15 PM
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Both Chynna and Victor have to work on Saturday and Sunday.
Victor is away all this week on a school trip so if he doesn't work he may lose his job.
The same goes for Chynna. Weekends are busy for Dairy Queen and 30 C weather is expected.
Victor is away all this week on a school trip so if he doesn't work he may lose his job.
The same goes for Chynna. Weekends are busy for Dairy Queen and 30 C weather is expected.
06-05-2006, 10:34 PM
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Originally Posted by 2000SilverBullet
Both Chynna and Victor have to work on Saturday and Sunday.
Victor is away all this week on a school trip so if he doesn't work he may lose his job.
The same goes for Chynna. Weekends are busy for Dairy Queen and 30 C weather is expected.
Victor is away all this week on a school trip so if he doesn't work he may lose his job.
The same goes for Chynna. Weekends are busy for Dairy Queen and 30 C weather is expected.
I defintely can understand that fact you do not want to leave her and alos that you do not want to leave your wife. If I was married; I would not want too either.
Can she swap shifts??
06-05-2006, 10:51 PM
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I just now started reading this post. I am 20 and my suggestion is to let her read this post. I do not understand how someone could do this to their parent and not feel like a pile of ****. Maybe if she read it she'd realize that she'* killing you your wife and your family.