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Old 06-04-2006, 03:44 PM   #41
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Quote:
She is an extrovert........who is not afraid to do the spread eagle in front of a camera
Wow, ballsy and careless!....you probably dont want yer parents to find that kinda thing eh?
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Old 06-04-2006, 03:53 PM   #42
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Is it too late to put her up for adoption?
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Old 06-04-2006, 04:06 PM   #43
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Quote:
Originally Posted by J Wikoff
Is it too late to put her up for adoption?
Hell, nothing is ever too late!

But seriously I wish you the best of luck in handling the situtation, you have remarkable patience (at least that'* what it'* sounding like)
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Old 06-04-2006, 04:31 PM   #44
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Wow, you have quite a situation on your hands. I'm 24 now graduated in 2004. Being female I know how teenage girls are. She probably thinks that she is all grown up and can do what she wants. I agree with the others, you need to take all of her privalges away. Yes, she will hate you. No friends, no phone, no stereo, no t.v, NO BOYS!!!!!!! If you don't put an end to this now she will eventually go off to college screw up her life. You need to show her the harsh realities of the "real world". I had to work for everything I had in in school. My parents wern't really strict, but they let me know if I got out of control. I'm sure she is not thinking of her future and the only thing that matters is her social life. I know when I was younger that is all I cared about, but I also had to work. You need to put your foot down and don't give in. It doesn't how much she says she hates you and how you are ruining her life. She will be a better person in the long run. Good luck!
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Old 06-04-2006, 04:32 PM   #45
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Paul, I hate to say this, but you have been going through this for a while now, and on several occasions you have asked for advice from us and yet this crap is still happening. Look I know what teenage girls are like, I was one, and now I am raising one. However, we do not put up with the crap that you put up. I have spoken to some of the people about the things that Jessica did, like coming home late, and not calling us. And we put a stop to it early. We have taken everything away, her computer, stereo, no phone,oh, she does not have a cell phone, never did and never will until she can pay for it herself, home right after school, no hockey tournaments, all the big stuff. Jessica has learned her lesson! She knows what the consequences are of her actions and she knows why we get angry. She also knows that we will send her to live with her grandparents in a heart beat if we feel she is getting out of control, which it of course has not come to that.

I am not saying that we are perfect parents, nor am I saying that Jessica is a perfect kid, but if all we have to worry about is her coming in an hour late from her friends house then we haven't done to bad by her. I got a phone call from a teacher saying how impressed she was that Jessica, who had acted up in class with a sub, fully admitted to her teacher what she had done and then stood up for herself in telling her teacher that the sub was wrong! It also feels good when parents call and say that they loved having Jessica over to their house because she is such a good and kind girl.

Paul you need to put your foot down, I would kick her out of the house, but not just to the streets and to fend for herself, send her up here, tell her to get an apartment, get a job, she is 18, you have the right to kick her out of your house. According to the law she is an adult.......you need to get mean! I am the emotional one in the house, I yell and scream and all that stuff, O'Neil is the one who calms everyone down, but when O'Neil gets mad, watch out.....We agree on everything, we stand by each other and we back each other up when it comes to punishments.

Jessica has been asking for a piercing for a while now, and I have said no, not until she can prove to me that she can keep her grades up, and she can make good choices and she is mature enough to handle it. We decided that when she is 16 we will discuss it, and she can try to convince us at that time.

Paul I am sorry you are going through all of this again, especially at this time of the year. Grad is a right of passage, not only for the kid, but for the parents too, it is another step in your journey as a parent.
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Old 06-04-2006, 04:47 PM   #46
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As a parent, I complete understand the emotional issues for the rest of the family and the pain. Nevertheless, look at the other side of the coin regarding your wife and your son; this girl has put you guys trough hell and she is not done!!!
The simple word is acoountability; she has never been made accountable for her actions and never knew and does not know about boundaries and respect.
Although it will hurt, as soon as she turns 18, tell her she is on her own and that she must leave. On the long run, you will not regret it and eventually your family and home will be restored to a peaceful one. Also, remove her name from the estate and inheritance; she has not earned it, nor deserve it.
About she needing the cell phone for work? You got to stop the rescuing; period!!

Let her be accountable even if she falls on her face; is the only way she will learn, if she ever does. I know you want her to pay back the money she owes you nevertheless is better to count your losses and deal with the problem and the root cause of it.
You have an "alcoholic" type relationship in which your daughter plays with your emotions and you guys become the rescuers.
When raising kids, you must set the boundaries at an early age; kids do not know boundaries therefore they will probe and see how far they can get away with. What kids are doing is asking how far they can go without being disciplined and without repercusions.
For some of you that have made comments such as if you were locked out you will get pissed, many of you are too young to even comprehend what he is dealing with his daugther. There is a big difference being in the shoes of a parent than being the kid or offender.
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Old 06-04-2006, 04:50 PM   #47
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 2000SilverBullet
She likes make-up, hair, nails, beauty stuff so I think that may be her direction.
Have you tried speaking with her about looking into a health/beauty career? Offer to send her to beauty school. I know two people (a guy and a girl) who were not-so well behaved through middle/high school that both ended up in in beauty school (by coincedence) and have since cleaned up their lives GREATLY. All because it'* what they wanted to do and all it took was their parents to offer an opportunity.

Regardless, I hope everything works out with you and your daughter.
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Old 06-04-2006, 05:00 PM   #48
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Make her get her own mobile plan. Consider it part of her repayment to you.
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Old 06-04-2006, 10:06 PM   #49
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You all have been great. Really helped me see the light.

Grad was nice.
I look at it today as her send off. The Grand March was her final march out of my life until she straightens up her life.

I have just told her that I want the cell phone and next week when she turns 18 she is OUT. I am selling her bed and turning her room back into the excersize room it was before she was born.

I really pray my wife will hold up to all this emotional trauma.
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Old 06-04-2006, 10:09 PM   #50
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The clincher was finding another naked picture on her cell phone.
Some boys ***

Her grandparents came over today for a barbecue. They didn't give her a Grad gift...neither did I.....she was pissed and told me to "Shut the **** up" then stormed back into her room to go back to sleep.
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