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Old 06-11-2005, 11:48 AM   #1
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Default YOU MIGHT HAVE TOO MUCH HORSEPOWER IF...

YOU MIGHT HAVE TOO MUCH HORSEPOWER IF...

1. The emissions test guy starts laughing as soon as you pull onto the rollers.
2. You can't drive your car in the rain.
3. Your 'significant other' is afraid to drive your car.
4. You are afraid to drive your car.
5. You spend more on tires than on food.
6. You spend more on car insurance than on house payments.
7. You look in a state police car and see a picture of your car taped to the dash.
8. You throw your underwear in the garbage rather than the hamper.
9. You have to go to the track to buy gas.
10. Your mechanic names the new wing of his shop after you.
11. Jacques Villeneuve and Michael Schumacher wave you by.
12. You can make the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs.
13. You're tempted to wear your fire suit just to drive to the office.
14. Red signal lights shift to green as you're approaching then shift back to red as you're receding.
15. You arrive somewhere before you left.
16. You get pulled over for doing 155 in a 35 but the cops will let you go if "they can look under the hood."
17. You remove the $2000 stereo system to save 6 lb. of weight.
18. You are not allowed to run in the Silver State Challenge.
19. You get an anonymous phone call asking if you are interested in being in the Cannonball Run.
20. Your face looks like you are riding a NASA centrifuge when you drive the car.
22. You need parachute braking.
23. Your 'significant other' won't even ride in the car.
24. There is no possible way to "sneak out" of your neighborhood at 6 am.
25. Your pets scramble for their hiding spots as soon as the garage door is opened. (Pets, and all the neighbors...)
26. Family photos throughout the house are replaced with life-sized posters of your car.
27. Fuel is delivered to your home: in 55 gallon drums!
28. You carry earplugs in your car.(doesn't everybody???)
29. The only spot on the car which receives any regular cleaning is the windshield. (what else is there to clean???)
30. You find out that side mirrors don't hold up at speeds exceeding 145 mph.
31. Young children cling to their mommies in fear when you round the corner.
32. Birds fall out of their nests from the rumble of your 5" dual exhaust.
33. All the major Tire makers are sending you free slicks in hopes of endorsment deal.
34. The UPS guy took to taking Steroids so he could keep up with your shipments.
35. The Fed Ex guy had a nervous breakdown.
36. All the wildlife within a 800ft radius around your house got the HELLOUT.
37. The nearest Geological Seismic Surveying Station Operator knows your address by heart.
38. A booming voice greets potential passengers with, "That'* right ....you paid for the whole seat but you'll only need the EDGE.
39. The earth slows in rotation when you hook up on your new slicks and head east.
40. You have to screw your slicks to the wheels.
41. Your exhaust pipes are larger in diameter than your driveline.
42. Your fuel pump flows enough to water a golf course.
43. Your compression'* high enough you could run diesel fuel.
44. The sparks from your wheelie bars start grass fires on the side of the road.
45. Your engine idles at 2800 rpm.
46. You measure the fuel you use in "gallons per mile."
47. Your RWD car has torque steer.
48. You have trouble seeing past the blower scoop
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Old 06-11-2005, 11:56 AM   #2
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Some of those are pretty good......
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Old 06-11-2005, 12:19 PM   #3
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Pretty good
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Old 06-11-2005, 01:07 PM   #4
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I might need to work on my car. None of it applies
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Old 06-11-2005, 01:16 PM   #5
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Those are hilarious!!!

i have a couple to add though . . .

- your seconde mortgage was not to pay off credit cards

and on the dark side . . .

- you keep two spare trannies in the pit truck because after a couple runs you know you will need them

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Old 06-11-2005, 03:39 PM   #6
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If only about half of those didn't apply to me it would be funny...

Quote:
You have to go to the track to buy gas.
You mean everyone doesn't have to do that???

Quote:
You look in a state police car and see a picture of your car taped to the dash.
I thought they kept everyones cars on there?

Quote:
You are afraid to drive your car.
This is true but not because it has too much power.

Shawn
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Old 06-11-2005, 07:41 PM   #7
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Those were good! LOL. #19 made me think that it would be cool to have some kind of a coast to coast relay deal. Like a member on the East Coast would drive west to the next nearest member and hand off something to be carried to the next nearest member and so on until the item gets to the West Coast.
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Old 06-11-2005, 08:34 PM   #8
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34 and 35 are pretty funny
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Old 06-11-2005, 11:10 PM   #9
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....You have trouble keeping the front tires on the ground....and it'* a front wheel drive.
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