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thats true.

haha, you guys truely do need serious help. I'm not even close to kidding. Some of those jokes WERE pretty damn funny tho! I can just imagine what you guys are like when you start drinkin

Hillary Clinton and her driver were cruising along a country road one evening when an ancient cow loomed in front of the car. The Driver tried to avoid it but couldn't, the aged bovine was struck and killed.

Hillary told her driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened. She stayed in the car making phone calls to lobbyists.

About an hour later the driver staggered back to the car with his clothes in disarray. He was holding a half-empty bottle of expensive wine in one hand, a rare, huge Cuban cigar in the other, and was smiling happily, smeared with lipstick.

"What happened to you," asked Hillary?

"Well," the driver replied, "the farmer gave me the cigar, his wife gave me the wine, and! their beautiful twin daughters made passionate love to me."!

"My God, what did you tell them?" asked Hillary.

The driver replied, "I just stepped inside the door and said, I'm Hillary Clinton'* driver and I've just killed the old cow. The rest happened so fast I couldn't stop it.

Five surgeons in big cities are discussing the best patients to operate on. The first surgeon from New York says, "I like to see accountants on my table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.

The second, from Chicago, Responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded."

The third surgeon, from Dallas, says, "No, I really think librarians are the best, everything inside them is in alpabetical order."

The fourth surgeon, from Los Angeles chimes in: "You know, I like construction workers... those guys always understand if you have a few parts left over."

But the fifth surgeon, from Washington DC shut them all up when he observed: "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There'* no guts, no heart, no cahones, no brains, and no spine. Plus the mouth and butthole are interchangable.

An 80 year old woman was arrested for shop lifting. When she went before the judge he asked her, "What did you steal?"

She replied: a can of peaches.

The judge asked her why she had stolen them and she replied that she was hungry.

The judge then asked her how many peaches were in the can. She replied 6.

The judge then said, "I will give you 6 days in jail."

Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment the woman'* husband spoke up and asked the judge if he could say something.

He said, "What is it?"

The husband said "She also stole a can of peas."

Greg- that last one was especially funny!!!

LOL You are so crazy

I got a good laugh out of it too. I'm , what can I say ?