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Old 04-05-2005, 01:38 PM   #1
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Default They Walk Among Us

Don't know where these were collected from or at, but.....

IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD: I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: "too many deer were being hit by cars" and he didn't want them to cross there anymore. Ah, yes. This guy was from the shallow end of the gene pool.
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IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE: My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg. OK, And your degree is in...?
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IDIOT SIGHTING: I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?"
To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?"
He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That'* why we ask."
You can rest easy knowing that this kind of moron is our last line of defense against hi-jackers...
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IDIOT SIGHTING: The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it'* safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!" Yes, sweetheart. You have no hope of finishing the human race...
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IDIOT SIGHTING: At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company due to "downsizing," our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often !!!"
Not a word was spoken. Yeah, right, *******. We'll be giving you a luncheon when YOUR pink slip arrives.
________________________________________

IDIOT SIGHTING: I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the life of her couldn't understand why her system would not turn on. Perfect example of why some people should not be allowed to have children.
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IDIOT SIGHTING: When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had! been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver'* side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.
"Hey," I announced to the technician, "It'* open!"
To which he replied, "I know - I already got that side."
Another subject for Jane Goodall'* experiments.


They walk among us..............Be afraid. Be very afraid....
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Old 04-05-2005, 02:25 PM   #2
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ha ha I love those...

OK true story.. I ordered a meatball sub with cheese and asked the young girl
"light on the sauce" as I hate when you get back to work/home the bread is soaked.
she looked at the sauce and then asked a coworker where the "light suace" was.
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Old 04-05-2005, 02:41 PM   #3
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Default Re: They Walk Among Us

Quote:
Originally Posted by MOS95B
IDIOT SIGHTING: I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?"
To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?"
He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That'* why we ask."
You can rest easy knowing that this kind of moron is our last line of defense against hi-jackers...


Quote:
Originally Posted by MOS95B
IDIOT SIGHTING: The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it'* safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!" Yes, sweetheart. You have no hope of finishing the human race...


those are great!!! whats even better is that they are true!!! stupid people!
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Old 04-05-2005, 02:43 PM   #4
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Doesn't suprise me. You know it'* bad when I worked at a Culvers in Apple Valley, and had more common sense then damn near any of our customers (save most construction guys)
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Old 04-05-2005, 02:52 PM   #5
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You having more common sense than anyone is kinda scarey....


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Old 04-05-2005, 03:11 PM   #6
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MOS, you always know how to bring a smile to our faces!!!! Thanks again.
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Old 04-05-2005, 03:45 PM   #7
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Default Re: They Walk Among Us

Quote:
Originally Posted by MOS95B

IDIOT SIGHTING: When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had! been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver'* side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.
"Hey," I announced to the technician, "It'* open!"
To which he replied, "I know - I already got that side."
Another subject for Jane Goodall'* experiments.
my fave right there!
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Old 04-05-2005, 04:10 PM   #8
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Those are great!!! I love reading stuff like that. It is amazing how stupid some people can be (myself included but that'* another story)
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Old 04-05-2005, 06:40 PM   #9
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not from me, but i'll add to your list

Story One
Recently, when I went to McDonald'* I saw on the menu that you could
have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half
dozen nuggets. ''We don't have half dozen nuggets,'' said the teenager
at the counter. ''You don't?'' I replied. ''We only have six, nine, or
twelve,'' was the reply. ''So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but
I can order six?'' ''That'* right.'' So I shook my head and ordered
six McNuggets

Story Two
I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the
lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up
one of those ''dividers'' that they keep by the cash register and
placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the
girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the ''divider'',
looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding
the bar code she said to me, ''Do you know how much this is?'' I said
to her ''I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today.''
She said ''OK,'' and I paid her for the things and left. She had no
clue to what had just happened.

Story Three
A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive
and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was
doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking
for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM ''thingy.''

Story Four
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. ''Do
you need some help?'' I asked. She replied, ''I knew I should have
replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get
into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience
store) would have a battery to fit this?'' ''Hmmm, I dunno. Do you
have an alarm, too?'' I asked. ''No, just this remote thingy,'' she
answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and
manually unlocked the door, I replied, ''Why don't you drive over
there and check about the batteries. It'* a long walk.''

Story Five
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day
she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, ''I'm almost out of
typing paper. What do I do?'' ''Just use copier machine paper,'' the
secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining
blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make
five ''blank'' copies.

Story Six
I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was
towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of
repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in
''Twister.'' I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that
the driver had set the ''cruise control'' and then went in the back to
make a sandwich.

Story Seven
My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office
of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have
problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in
one of the branch banks who had this question: ''I've got smoke coming
from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?''

Story Eight
Police in Radnor, Pa., interrogated a suspect by placing a metal
colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy
machine. The message ''He'* lying'' was placed in the copier, and
police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect
wasn't telling the truth. Believing the ''lie detector'' was working,
the suspect confessed.

Story Nine
A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to
take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The
dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and should be fine,
the mother says, I just gave him some ant killer..... Dispatcher: Rush
him in to emergency!

Story Ten
A manager called support and said her cursor always ''runs away'', so
her PC is broken, the fix was to lift a heavy folder from a space bar
on her keyboard.
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Old 04-06-2005, 02:35 AM   #10
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Funny stuff!
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