Southern grandma
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From: Quincy, Ma
Southern grandma
Lawyers should never ask a Southern grandma a question if they aren't
prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting
attorney called his first witness, a grand motherly, elderly woman to
the stand. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you
since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big
disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you
manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think
you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you
never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher.
Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed
across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense
attorney?"
She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since
he was a youngster, too. He'* lazy, bigoted, and he has a
drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with
anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire
state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three
different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."
The defense attorney almost died.
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench,
and in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you bastards
asks her if she knows me, I'll throw your sorry asses
in jail for contempt."
prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting
attorney called his first witness, a grand motherly, elderly woman to
the stand. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you
since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big
disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you
manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think
you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you
never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher.
Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed
across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense
attorney?"
She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since
he was a youngster, too. He'* lazy, bigoted, and he has a
drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with
anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire
state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three
different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."
The defense attorney almost died.
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench,
and in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you bastards
asks her if she knows me, I'll throw your sorry asses
in jail for contempt."
DINOSAURUS BOOSTUS
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Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 41,391
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From: Enfield, CT
Originally Posted by sonoma_zr2
Originally Posted by BillBoost37
Originally Posted by lash
Just saw this. Good one! 
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