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Old 03-31-2006, 10:18 AM   #1
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Default Something to offend everyone

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan

What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
The position of the dirt bag

Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it'* worth it.

What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts?

Why is breathing air a lot like sex?
Because it'* no big deal unless you're not getting any.

What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.

What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities.

What'* the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
45 lbs

What'* the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes

What'* the fastest way to a man '* heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.

Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.

What'* the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

What'* the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
A porcupine has the ****** on the outside.

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it'* mine?"

Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.

Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ?
Everyone has the same DNA.

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.

Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.

Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar.

Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
They named him "Sum Ting Wong".

What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.

What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?
They're hiring.

What'* the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with.. "a recipe".

How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!

What'* the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..."
A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this ****...".

Why is there no Disneyland in China?
No one'* tall enough to go on the good rides
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Old 03-31-2006, 01:22 PM   #2
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Quote:
What'* the fastest way to a man '* heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.
I like this one
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Old 03-31-2006, 01:32 PM   #3
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HAHAHA, very good, im keepin it!!!
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Old 03-31-2006, 01:39 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jack
Quote:
What'* the fastest way to a man '* heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.
I like this one
That ones my favorite also
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Old 03-31-2006, 01:47 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SSE14U24ME
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jack
Quote:
What'* the fastest way to a man '* heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.
I like this one
That ones my favorite also
Yep. There'* a suprise.....
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Old 03-31-2006, 01:57 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MOS95B
Quote:
Originally Posted by SSE14U24ME
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jack
Quote:
What'* the fastest way to a man '* heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.
I like this one
That ones my favorite also
Yep. There'* a suprise.....
What are you insinuating? I am as sweet as can be
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Old 03-31-2006, 02:05 PM   #7
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Quote:
Why is there no Disneyland in China?
No one'* tall enough to go on the good rides

Now that is Funny
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Old 03-31-2006, 02:05 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SSE14U24ME
Quote:
Originally Posted by MOS95B
Quote:
Originally Posted by SSE14U24ME
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jack
Quote:
What'* the fastest way to a man '* heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.
I like this one
That ones my favorite also
Yep. There'* a suprise.....
What are you insinuating? I am as sweet as can be
Hmmmmm....suuuurrrre... Let'* take stock here...whips, check...guns, check...knives, check. Feelin' reeaalllly comfortable right now... :P
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Old 03-31-2006, 02:07 PM   #9
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Default Re: Something to offend everyone

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jason1351

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.
AHHH, let those women who whine about that marry some abusive drunk jobless "bad boy".
Most women like that kind of relationship you know?
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Old 03-31-2006, 02:27 PM   #10
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LOL Funny as hell!! But do you know how Chinese parents name their children? They throw silverware down the stairs.........
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