Smart ass answers awards
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From: Quincy, Ma
Smart *** answers awards
Smart *** Answer #5:
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.
As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened
his trench coat and flashed at her.
Without missing a beat....she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not
your stub."
*****************
Smart *** Answer #4:
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but
she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy,
"Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
*******************
Smart *** Answer #3:
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding
rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop
said.
The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the
cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a
ticket.
*******************
Smart *** Answer #2:
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that
reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead
of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to
the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?"
The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of
gas."
*******************
#1 SMART *** ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2005.......................
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow'* final exam.
"Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here
tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury
or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that'* it, no other
excuses whatsoever!"
A smart *** guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What
would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter
sexual exhaustion?"
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence was
restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shaking her head
and sweetly said "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your
other hand."
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.
As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened
his trench coat and flashed at her.
Without missing a beat....she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not
your stub."
*****************
Smart *** Answer #4:
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but
she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy,
"Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
*******************
Smart *** Answer #3:
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding
rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop
said.
The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the
cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a
ticket.
*******************
Smart *** Answer #2:
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that
reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead
of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to
the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?"
The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of
gas."
*******************
#1 SMART *** ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2005.......................
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow'* final exam.
"Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here
tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury
or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that'* it, no other
excuses whatsoever!"
A smart *** guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What
would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter
sexual exhaustion?"
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence was
restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shaking her head
and sweetly said "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your
other hand."
Senior Member
Certified Car Nut
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 15,408
Likes: 1
From: Robbinsdale, MN
Re: Smart A$$ answers awards
Originally Posted by Gumball
Smart A$$ Answer #2:
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that
reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead
of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to
the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?"
The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of
gas."
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that
reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead
of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to
the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?"
The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of
gas."
Senior Member
Certified Car Nut
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 11,269
Likes: 0
From: My reclining computer chair
Re: Smart A$$ answers awards
Originally Posted by Gumball
#1 SMART A$$ ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2005.......................
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow'* final exam.
"Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here
tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury
or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that'* it, no other
excuses whatsoever!"
A smart A$$ guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What
would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter
sexual exhaustion?"
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence was
restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shaking her head
and sweetly said "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your
other hand."
PWNED
Senior Member
True Car Nut
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,798
Likes: 0
Re: Smart A$$ answers awards
Originally Posted by dbeast420
Originally Posted by Gumball
#1 SMART A$$ ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2005.......................
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow'* final exam.
"Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here
tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury
or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that'* it, no other
excuses whatsoever!"
A smart A$$ guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What
would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter
sexual exhaustion?"
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence was
restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shaking her head
and sweetly said "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your
other hand."
PWNED
I almost couldnt contain myself on that one 
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