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Old 08-25-2009, 04:17 PM   #1
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Default Ruining Sex

It was Tom’* 18th birthday, and he told his father that he could be proud because at 18, Tom was still a virgin.

“What? A virgin? You? Really? Well we’ll get that taken care of real quick”…said his father.

“No Dad…” but it was of no use, his father was adamant. He shoved Tom into the car and took off in a cloud…

They went to Sally’* House of Love, and dad dragged Tom into the lobby. Sally met them and dad explained that he wanted Tom to get some “experience”. Tom, of course, was ready to sink into the floor from embarrassment.

“I’ve just the perfect girl for you Tom, and she’* right up stairs, come, follow me” said Sally.

Tom reluctantly followed her up the stairs and down the hall, where Sally knocked on a door and opened it. Inside was a lovely sight about 19 in a sheer lavender gown that left nothing to the imagination. Sally introduced them, and silently left the room.

“Well Tom, what do you like?” the girl asked.

“Umm, I don’t know..ahhhh” answered Tom, still highly embarrassed.

“Well, I like to start with 69. That’* always a fun way to get things rolling don’t you think?”

Tom had no idea of what “69” meant, and nodded his head, trying not to look like a complete dork.

“You get undressed and we’ll start”. Tom slowly took off his clothes, leaving his underpants until the very last.

“Okay, lie down on your back on the bed”. Tom did, and she put one knee on the bed, swung her other leg over him, and farted. Not just your garden variety of a fart either, she turned the air in the room into a pale shade of green.

“Oh my God” she said, and got off the bed, ran into the bathroom, shut the door, and was gone for several minutes. When she came back, she said “Let’* try that again shall we”.

Once again, she proceeded to put her knee on the bed, swing the other over him, and it happened again; another gas attack of gigantic proportions.

She jumped off the bed, ran into the bathroom, and after a longer stay, came out and discovered Tom putting his clothes on.

“Why are you getting dressed?” she asked.

“Well, if you think I’m going to stick around for 67 more of those….”
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Old 08-25-2009, 06:30 PM   #2
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ohh the aroma......
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Old 08-25-2009, 10:48 PM   #3
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....should have seen this one coming. Damn funny though!
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Old 08-25-2009, 10:51 PM   #4
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I can't believe he tried that a second time.
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Old 08-28-2009, 03:03 PM   #5
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Note to self: Bring Scuba gear next time. Keep the fresh air coming.
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