12 Reasons Same-Sex Marriage will Ruin Society (Satire) - GM Forum - Buick, Cadillac, Chev, Olds, GMC & Pontiac chat


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Old 03-02-2004, 06:52 AM   #1
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Default 12 Reasons Same-Sex Marriage will Ruin Society (Satire)

http://grove.ufl.edu/~ggsa/gaymarriage.html

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1. Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and birth control are not natural.

2. Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Infertile couples and old people cannot get legally married because the world needs more children.

3. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children because straight parents only raise straight children.

4. Straight marriage will be less meaningful, since Britney Spears'* 55-hour just-for-fun marriage was meaningful.

5. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and it hasn't changed at all: women are property, Blacks can't marry Whites, and divorce is illegal.

6. Gay marriage should be decided by the people, not the courts, because the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically protected the rights of minorities.

7. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are always imposed on the entire country. That'* why we only have one religion in America.

8. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people makes you tall.

9. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage license.

10. Children can never succeed without both male and female role models at home. That'* why single parents are forbidden to raise children.

11. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and we could never adapt to new social norms because we haven't adapted to cars or longer lifespans.

12. Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage with a different name are better, because a "separate but equal" institution is always constitutional. Separate schools for African-Americans worked just as well as separate marriages will for gays & lesbians.
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Old 03-02-2004, 09:44 AM   #2
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Blacks can't marry Whites
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Old 03-02-2004, 10:04 AM   #3
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Are you for real or just jagging us? Just about all of that stuff could be a joke, if that is what you were implying?
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Old 03-02-2004, 10:04 AM   #4
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5. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and it hasn't changed at all: women are property, Blacks can't marry Whites, and divorce is illegal.

I AM NOT TOUCHIN THAT TOPIC WITH A TEN FOOT STICK
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Old 03-02-2004, 10:14 AM   #5
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It'* a satire, poking holes in all the arguments used for banning same sex marriages....
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Old 03-02-2004, 01:38 PM   #6
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Quote:
9. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage license.
I like that one the "zoo'*" shall now marrie there pets an consummate it sorry coulndt help it.....
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Old 03-02-2004, 01:41 PM   #7
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HA HAAHA
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Old 03-02-2004, 05:44 PM   #8
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I'm about as right wing as one can get but I could care less what "they" do and that satire has a lot of truth to it. Plus let them get married then they can enjoy the extra taxes I do.
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Old 03-02-2004, 05:54 PM   #9
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That was hilarious, you should present that to Billy Graham and see what he has to say
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Old 03-03-2004, 01:12 AM   #10
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I'm just glad y'all figured out it was supposed to be funny. I was worried I might've ticked a few people off.

I don't get the whole gay thing, but I know a few people "that way". I also know that making a law directed against just them is very discriminatory.
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