Please tell me this won't happen to us... - GM Forum - Buick, Cadillac, Olds, GMC & Pontiac chat

Lounge For casual talk about things unrelated to General Motors. In other words, off-topic stuff. And anything else that does not fit Section Description.

Please tell me this won't happen to us...

Reply

 
 
 
Old 03-09-2006, 12:16 PM
  #1  
Senior Member
True Car Nut
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Right in front of you
Posts: 7,965
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
SSE14U24ME is on a distinguished road
Default Please tell me this won't happen to us...

WHAT A CHOICE

A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a nursing home. As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say, "Supersex." She walked up to an elderly man in a wheel chair. Flipping her gown at him, she said, "Supersex." He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, "I'll take the soup."
__________________________________________________ ______________
DRIVING
Two elderly women were out driving in a large car, both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself "I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light."
After a few more m! inutes, they came to another intersection and the light was red again.
Again, they went right through. The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it.!
She was getting nervous. At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they went on through. So, she turned to the other woman and said, "Mildred, do you know that we just ran through three redlights in a row? You could have killed us both!"
Mildred turned to her and said, "Crap, am I driving?"
__________________________________________________ ____
An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has been
broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!" she cried.
The dispatcher say, "Stay calm, Maam, an officer is on the way."
A few minutes later, the officer radios in.
"Disregard.", He says. "She got in the back-seat by mistake."

TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US, PLEASE!!!!
SSE14U24ME is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 03-09-2006, 06:16 PM
  #2  
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Purgatory
Posts: 2
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
PontiacMom is on a distinguished road
Default

LOL....very funny...And no Tracy that will not happen to any of us.
PontiacMom is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 03-09-2006, 10:49 PM
  #3  
Senior Member
True Car Nut
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Melrose
Posts: 4,596
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
BLACK94SSEi is on a distinguished road
Default

About 2 years ago my wife and I were on a cruise through the western Mediterranean aboard a Princess liner. At dinner we noticed an elderly lady sitting alone along the rail of the grand stairway in the main dining room. I also noticed that all the staff, ships officers, waiters, busboys, etc., all seemed very familiar with this lady. I asked our
waiter who the lady was, expecting to be told that she owned the line,but he said he only knew that she had been on board for the last four cruises, back-to-back. As we left the dining room one evening I caught her eye and stopped to say hello. We chatted and I said, "I understand you've been on this ship for the last four cruises". She replied, "Yes, that'* true." I stated, "I don't understand" and she replied, without a pause,
"It'* cheaper than a nursing home". So, there will be no nursing home in my future. When
I get old and feeble, I am going to get on a Princess Cruise Ship. The average cost for a
nursing home is $200 per day. I have checked on reservations on a Princess and I can get a long term discount and senior discount price of $135 per day. That leaves $65 a day for:

1. Gratuities which will only be $10 per day.
2. I will have as many as 10 meals a day if I can waddle to the restaurant, or I can have room service (which means I can have breakfast-in-bed every day of the week).
3. Princess has as many as three swimming pools, a workout room, free washers and dryers, and shows every night.
4. They have free toothpaste and razors, and free soap and shampoo.
5. They will even treat you like a customer, not a patient. An extra $5 worth of tips will have the entire staff scrambling to help you.
6. I will get to meet new people every 7 or 14 days.
7. T.V. broken? Light bulb need changing? Need to have the mattress replaced? No Problem! They will fix everything and apologize for your inconvenience.
8. Clean sheets and towels every day, and you don't even have to ask for them.
9. If you fall in the nursing home and break a hip you are on Medicare; if you fall and break a hip on the Princess ship they will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.
Do you want to see South America, the Panama Canal, Tahiti, Australia, New Zealand, Asia, or name where you want to go? Princess will have a ship ready to go. So don't look for me in a nursing home, just call shore to ship.

P.*: Don't forget, when you die, they just dump you over the side-at no charge.
BLACK94SSEi is offline  
Reply With Quote
 
 
 
Related Topics
Thread
Thread Starter
Forum
Replies
Last Post
willwren
Lounge
20
03-26-2008 01:16 PM
01BonneSC
2000-2005
19
07-19-2007 12:59 PM
88bonnsse
General GM Chat
9
04-09-2007 09:06 PM
MOS95B
Lounge
1
12-31-2006 05:59 PM
BUCKMAN
1992-1999
20
11-01-2002 10:23 PM


Thread Tools
Search this Thread
Quick Reply: Please tell me this won't happen to us...


Contact Us Archive Advertising Cookie Policy Privacy Statement Terms of Service

We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.