Newspaper Headlines from the year 2029: - GM Forum - Buick, Cadillac, Chev, Olds, GMC & Pontiac chat


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Old 07-21-2005, 02:51 PM   #1
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Default Newspaper Headlines from the year 2029:

Thanks to my home made time viewer machine, I was able to read the headlines from the future...

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh
largest country in the world, Mexifornia formally known as California.
White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia'* third language.

Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.

Baby conceived naturally; scientists stumped.

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of
the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria and Lebanon)

Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10
more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.

Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported
legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and
reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

85-year, $758 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.

Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter
speed; they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.
(Hey! I just send 'em, I don't write 'em!)

Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil
rights.

Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly
swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.

Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political
contributions to campaign accounts.

Capitol Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with
congressman.

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines.
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Old 07-21-2005, 02:58 PM   #2
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Good One!! Can you look at the time viewer machine and tell me what my future will be?
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Old 07-21-2005, 03:40 PM   #3
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Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter
speed; they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.
(Hey! I just send 'em, I don't write 'em!)



Too cute!!!
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Old 07-21-2005, 04:17 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PontiacMom
Too cute!!!
Hahaha tooo true!
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Old 07-21-2005, 05:36 PM   #5
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Quote:
Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
Damn we have to wait that long
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Old 07-21-2005, 08:06 PM   #6
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Come on now..........NOTHING will ever be that fast!!!!!!!!!

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter
speed; they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.
(Hey! I just send 'em, I don't write 'em!)
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Old 07-21-2005, 11:38 PM   #7
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LOL, those are awesome.
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