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Old 09-19-2005, 01:21 AM   #1
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Default The Lawyer

A LAW & ORDER VIEW FROM THE RIGHT...: Lawyer Learns Legal Definition

A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff'* deputy. He
thinks that he is smarter than the deputy because he is sure that he has
a better education.
He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the deputy'*
Deputy says, "License and registration, please."
Lawyer says, "What for?"
Deputy says, "You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign." Lawyer
says, "I slowed down, and no one was coming." Deputy says, "You still didn't
come to a complete stop. License and
registration, please."
Lawyer says, "What'* the difference?"
Deputy says, "The difference is, you have to come to a complete stop that'*
the law. License and registration, please!"
Lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and
stop, I'll give you my license and registration and you give me the ticket,
if not you let me go and no ticket."
Deputy says, "Exit your vehicle, sir."
At this point, the deputy takes out his nightstick and starts beating the
ever-loving crap out of the lawyer and says: "DO YOU WANT ME TO STOP OR JUST

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Old 09-19-2005, 01:05 PM   #2
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A Charlotte, NC, lawyer purchased a box of twenty-four very rare and
expensive cigars, then insured them against fire among other things.
Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great
cigars and without yet having made even his first premium payment on the
policy, the lawyer filed claim against the insurance company. In his claim,
the lawyer stated the cigars were lost "in a series of small fires." The
insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason: that the
man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion.

The lawyer sued ... and won!
In delivering the ruling the judge agreed with the insurance company
that the claim was frivolous. The Judge stated nevertheless, that the
lawyer held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that
the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure
them against fire, without defining what is considered to be "unacceptable fire,"
and was obligated to pay the claim. Rather than endure lengthy and costly
appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid
$15,000.00 to the lawyer for his loss of the rare cigars lost in the


After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him
arrested on 24-counts of ARSON!!!! With his own insurance claim and testimony
from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was
convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24
months in jail and a $24,000.00 fine.

This is a true story and was the 1st place winner in the recent

Criminal Lawyers Award Contest.

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