If Dogs sent letters to God .... - GM Forum - Buick, Cadillac, Chev, Olds, GMC & Pontiac chat

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Old 03-18-2004, 03:58 AM   #1
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Default If Dogs sent letters to God ....

Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?

Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it the same old

Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the
mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How
often do you see a cougar riding around? We dogs love a nice ride! Would it be so
hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the Chrysler Beagle'?

Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he
still a bad dog?

Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles,
horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID'*, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee
flight paths. What do humans understand?

Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear God: When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to shake hands to get in?

Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a
good dog:

- I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.

- I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.

- I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box; although they are tasty, they are not food.

- The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.

- The sofa is not a face towel; neither are Mom and Dad'* laps.

- The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

- My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

- I will not bite the officer'* hand when he reaches in for Mom'* driver'* license and registration.

- I will not play tug-of-war with Dad'* underwear when he'* on the toilet.

- Sticking my nose into someone'* crotch is not an acceptable way of saying 'hello.'

- I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.

- I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house.

- I will not throw up in the car.

- I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt cross the carpet.

- I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when company is over.

- The cat is not a squeaky toy; so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it'* usually not a good thing.

Dear God: May I have my ********* back?
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Old 03-18-2004, 10:58 AM   #2
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MOS that is hilarilous!!! I am starting to wonder if my dog helped write that letter.
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