I agree with Brian...What has made this difficult for you is that you and she ended because of logistics...not for the usual reasons. But what you may not realize is that neither of you are the same person. You are remembering the way things were...even if you weren't married, things would never, ever be the same as it was back then because you have both changed.

And don't hide it from your wife....chances are she knows about Tanya anyhow. And trust me, living in the shadow of an old flame is hard. I did it for 7 years. My ex had a very similar situation with the exception that there was a terminated pregnancy involved. He pined over that woman for 7 years until she came back into his life. He met her, he realized that things were not the same, and he was able to finally move on mentally.

I had a similar situation too. My first true love ended up being my mailman! I was literally barefoot and pregnant when he showed up on my doorstep. He wanted to go for lunch. My husband didn't go for that. We left well enough alone. When I got divorced, I looked him up...but he was engaged. We never did have that final talk...but we didn't need it.

What you are feeling is normal...how you handle it, will make all the difference in the world.

I gotta ask, does your wife know how involved you and tanya were? If she doesn't, I wouldn't go into details. All she needs (or wants) to know is:

1: You're talking to one of your ex'*
2: You've moved on and realized that what you have is good

Anything else will just get her thinking and worried. This is one of those times where a little discresion goes a long way.

Don't get me wrong (playing devil'* advocate here) if you didn't have kids, this would be a whole different situation. But as long as you love your wife and are happy with your wife, don't worry. If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

One thing to add here: You have to consider that she never contacted you once she moved.
To me, there is only 2 reasons for that: 1. She wanted to move on once she was gone
2. She forgot to call
I'm gonna go with 1 and tell you that she has probably moved on too. I won't tell you what to do because I'm only 18 and don't know **** about these situations but consider that.

You never know, My wife got a good laugh over one of my ex-girlfiends looking me up 20 years after she dumped me. Kim found it hilarious how rotten Karen'* life turned out. Me, I just felt a bit sorry for the idiot tossing her life away.

VERY TRUE from a christian perspective

now that on the other hand would only be in my dreams