You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.

You sleep with your eyes open.

You have to watch videos in fast-forward.

The only time you're standing still is during an earthquake.

You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.

You've worn out your third pair of tennis shoes this week.

Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.

You chew on other people'* fingernails.

The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.

You're so jittery that people use your hands to blend their margaritas.

You can type sixty words per minute with your feet.

You can jump-start your car without cables.

You don't sweat, you percolate.

You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it'* not plugged in.

You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.

You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.

People get dizzy just watching you.

Instant coffee takes too long.

You channel surf faster without a remote.

You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.

You can outlast the Energizer bunny.

You short out motion detectors.

You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.

Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.

You help your dog chase its tail.

You soak your dentures in coffee overnight.

Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup.

You ski uphill.

You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked.

You answer the door before people knock.

You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.

You ever eat chocolate covered coffee beans? Mercy. Those are good stuff. Talk about a quick buzz........

Wow, that sounds good, where can you get those? (chocolate covered coffee beans)

I buy them by the pound in the bulk food section of a local grocery store (not a national chain). I suggest the milk chocolate. The dark just doesn't carry the flavor.

I prefer to buy fresh ground Turkish coffee from a local Middle Eastern grocere. Also, it is important to get cardomon ground in the coffee when you order it. I sometimes boil it on the the stove in an Ibrick for drinking with desert, but mostly run it though my coffee maker (double strength) for the trip to work in the morning.

Oh yea...chocolate covered coffee beans are the ****!

Anyone know where did the term "cup of Joe" come from?

One morning, a lady awoke to the smell of coffee. She soon discovered that her seven-year-old grandson had made her a fresh cup. After managing to drink the whole cup of the worst tasting coffee she had ever had, she discovered two green toy soldiers at the bottom.

After questioning her grandson for the reason behind them, he replied, "Well, everyone knows that the best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup."

Cup of Joe
Josephus Daniels (18 May 1862-15 January 194 was appointed Secretary of the Navy by President Woodrow Wilson in 1913. Among his reforms of the Navy were inaugurating the practice of making 100 Sailors from the Fleet eligible for entrance into the Naval Academy, the introduction of women into the service, and the abolishment of the officers' wine mess. From that time on, the strongest drink aboard Navy ships could only be coffee and over the years, a cup of coffee became known as "a cup of Joe".

Another version:
Legend has it that the origin is as follows,
The U.*. Navy used to serve alcoholic beverages on board ships.
However, when Admiral Joe Daniels became the Chief of Naval Operations, he outlawed
alcohol onboard ships, except for very special occasions. Coffee then became the
beverage of choice, hence the term "cup of Joe".