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Old 03-08-2007, 08:59 PM   #1
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Default Funny Police Comments

These 16 Police comments were taken off actual police car videos
around the country:

#16 "You know, stop lights don't come any redder that the one you just went through."

#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them awhile."

# 14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

#12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that'* the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."

#11 "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

#10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"

#9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

#8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."

#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

#4 "How big were those 'just two beers' you say you had?"

#3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

#2 "I'm glad to hear that Chief (of Police) Hawker is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."

AND THE WINNER IS....

#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."
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Old 03-08-2007, 09:10 PM   #2
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note to self: make repost emoticon...
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Old 03-08-2007, 09:13 PM   #3
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aww crap, here i was hoping this wasnt
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Old 03-08-2007, 09:21 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rjolly87
note to self: make repost emoticon...


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Old 03-08-2007, 09:23 PM   #5
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Quote:
"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

True story


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Old 03-08-2007, 09:25 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gumball
Quote:
"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

True story


Dare we ask how you know this?

I'm sure its from plenty of episodes of "Cops"
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Old 03-08-2007, 09:26 PM   #7
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I was young. very young
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Old 03-08-2007, 09:29 PM   #8
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You're not alone

Never got hauled off, but 2 police officers can sure make an impression on a 12 year old
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Old 03-08-2007, 10:19 PM   #9
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Okay repost police, I didn't see this one. Those are cute. I have to print those out for the police woman Jessica plays hockey with.
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Old 03-08-2007, 10:38 PM   #10
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Here'* one for ya.
Officer: Hows the pucker factor?
Me: excuse me?
Officer: Hows the pucker factor?
Me: Sir, I don't know what your talking about!?!
Officer: What was your pucker factor of your *** when you were in mid air coming over that hill and saw me in that driveway you flew by?

Now that officer had a sense of humor. Even let me off.
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