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Old 08-18-2006, 02:13 PM   #1
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Default Employee Performance Evaluations

For everyone who has ever had an evaluation - just remember, it could have been worse. These are actual quotes taken from federal government employee performance evaluations.

1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock-bottom and has started to dig."

2. "I would not allow this employee to breed."

3. "This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won't be."

4. "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."

5. "When he opens his mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet."

6. "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."

7. "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."

8. "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."

9. "This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts the better."

10. "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together."

11. "A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."

12. "He doesn't have ulcers, but he'* a carrier."

14. "I would like to go hunting with him sometime."

15. "He'* been working with glue too much."

16. "He would argue with a signpost."

17. "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."

18. "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."

19. "If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he'* the other one."

20. "A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on."

21. "A prime candidate for natural de-selection."

22. "Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."

23. "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming."

24. "He'* got two brains cells, one is lost and the other is out looking for it."

25. "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."
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Old 08-18-2006, 02:55 PM   #2
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Yes!! I finally get to do this first!


REPOST!!!!

http://www.bonnevilleclub.com/forum/...ght=evaluation

Almost five months to the day.
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Old 08-18-2006, 02:57 PM   #3
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Go DOUG!!!!!!

Sorry (a little..ok..not really) bout that ford crack earlier
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Old 08-18-2006, 03:50 PM   #4
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#25 is good
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Old 08-18-2006, 03:55 PM   #5
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Definitely funny stuff.

But, I HIGHLY doubt any of those phrases were actually used, not to mention publicized.
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Old 08-18-2006, 03:56 PM   #6
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Mark...

You'd be surprised......very surprised at some of the stuff documented in the workplace.
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Old 08-18-2006, 04:18 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MyLittleBlackBird
Yes!! I finally get to do this first!


REPOST!!!!

http://www.bonnevilleclub.com/forum/...ght=evaluation

Almost five months to the day.
I knew I'd seen those before...

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Old 08-18-2006, 05:24 PM   #8
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No surprise....

Just trying to funny up the friday.

Plus, I care not whether they are real or not as long as they are funny...
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