CINDERELLA wants to go to the ball, but her wicked
Stepmother won't let her. As Cinderella sits crying in the garden,
her fairy godmother appears and promised to provide Cinderella with
everything she needs to go to the ball, but only on two conditions.
"First, you must wear a diaphragm." Cinderella agrees.
"What'* the second condition?" "You must be home by 2:00 A.M. Any
later, and your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin." Cinderella
agrees to be home by 2:00 A.M. The appointed hour comes and goes, and
Cinderella doesn't show up. Finally, at 5:00 A.M. Cinderella shows
up, looking love struck and very satisfied. "Where have you
been?" demands the Fairy Godmother. "Your diaphragm was supposed
to turn into a pumpkin three hours ago!!!". " I met a prince,
Fairy Godmother. He took care of everything." The Fairy
Godmother stated, "I know of no prince with that kind of power!
Tell me his name!". Cinderella replied, "I can't remember, exactly,
Peter..Peter, something or other..."

________________________________


PINOCCHIO had a human girlfriend who would sometimes
complain about splinters when they were having sex. Pinocchio,
therefore, went to visit Gepetto to see if he could help. Gepetto suggested
he try a little sandpaper wherever indicated and Pinocchio skipped away
enlightened. A couple weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing
happily through town and asked him, "How'* the girlfriend?"
Pinocchio replied, "Who needs a girlfriend?"

______________________________

LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD was walking through the woods
when suddenly the Big Bad Wolf jumped out from behind
a tree and, holding a sword to her throat,
said, "Red, I'm going to screw your brains out!"
To that, Little Red Riding Hood calmly reached into
her picnic basket and pulled out a ..44 magnum and pointed
it at him and said, "No, you're not. You're going to
eat me, just like it says in the book."

______________________


MICKEY MOUSE and MINNIE MOUSE were in divorce court
And the judge said to Mickey, "You say here that your wife
is crazy." Mickey replied, "I didn't say she was crazy, I said
she'* f**king Goofy."

that'* right

That is too funny!!!

My name ain't Peter but,I do like pumpkin