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Old 01-19-2004, 05:38 AM   #1
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Default In-duh-vidual Tales

Originally Posted by Scott Adams - Creator of Dilbert
Here are some inspirational tales of Induhviduals, submitted by DNRC members. As usual, I suspect that many of them are either urban legend or lifted from past Dilbert Newsletters that I've forgotten. But that doesn't make them less funny.


I once read an article about a person who was against daylight savings time. She said that the extra hour of sunlight would kill the grass. I mentioned this story to my sister, laughing while I did so, and my sister replied that there WAS extra sunlight during daylight savings. I explained that congress couldn't legislate extra sunlight. To this day my college-educated sister believes that daylight savings time gives us extra sunlight.


One of our managers, in trying to explain how versatile he is, described himself as "multi-flaccid."


This morning while I was in our office kitchen, a co-worker walked up to me and asked when my birthday was. I told her November. She looked puzzled and asked if it was this coming November.


Some colleagues and I were out to lunch when peers from a local competitor entered the restaurant with a young engineer who was obviously being interviewed. (We eavesdropped.) When asked why he went to a local college rather than a nearby nationally ranked engineering school, the new guy said, "It'* too competitive. I can't take that kind of pressure."

We hope they hired him.


My ex'* mom took the written test to become a school bus driver. She was explaining that the whole process was very difficult. She kept talking about how hard the key-nah-low-gee test was. When I realized she was talking about a "knowledge" test I had to leave the room to avoid hurting her feelings by "laughing like a banshee."


One of my two bosses took the company credit card on a business trip. Meanwhile we needed the credit card number to buy a server. My other boss said, "We used to have a sheet of paper around the office that had all our company credit card numbers with their expiration dates and security codes. I wonder what happened to that. Maybe we should make another one."


I was working at an office supply store several years ago when I received a phone call. The caller told me that someone had broken into his office and stolen his fax machine. I sympathized. Then he asked me "How do I keep the people who stole my fax machine from receiving my faxes?"
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