If Dogs sent letters to God ....
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If Dogs sent letters to God ....
Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?
Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it the same old
story?
Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the
mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How
often do you see a cougar riding around? We dogs love a nice ride! Would it be so
hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the Chrysler Beagle'?
Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he
still a bad dog?
Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles,
horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID'*, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee
flight paths. What do humans understand?
Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
Dear God: When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to shake hands to get in?
Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?
Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a
good dog:
- I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.
- I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
- I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box; although they are tasty, they are not food.
- The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
- The sofa is not a face towel; neither are Mom and Dad'* laps.
- The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
- My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
- I will not bite the officer'* hand when he reaches in for Mom'* driver'* license and registration.
- I will not play tug-of-war with Dad'* underwear when he'* on the toilet.
- Sticking my nose into someone'* crotch is not an acceptable way of saying 'hello.'
- I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.
- I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house.
- I will not throw up in the car.
- I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt cross the carpet.
- I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when company is over.
- The cat is not a squeaky toy; so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it'* usually not a good thing.
Dear God: May I have my ********* back?
Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it the same old
story?
Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the
mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How
often do you see a cougar riding around? We dogs love a nice ride! Would it be so
hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the Chrysler Beagle'?
Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he
still a bad dog?
Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles,
horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID'*, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee
flight paths. What do humans understand?
Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
Dear God: When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to shake hands to get in?
Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?
Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a
good dog:
- I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.
- I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
- I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box; although they are tasty, they are not food.
- The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
- The sofa is not a face towel; neither are Mom and Dad'* laps.
- The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
- My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
- I will not bite the officer'* hand when he reaches in for Mom'* driver'* license and registration.
- I will not play tug-of-war with Dad'* underwear when he'* on the toilet.
- Sticking my nose into someone'* crotch is not an acceptable way of saying 'hello.'
- I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.
- I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house.
- I will not throw up in the car.
- I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt cross the carpet.
- I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when company is over.
- The cat is not a squeaky toy; so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it'* usually not a good thing.
Dear God: May I have my ********* back?
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