Words to live by... - GM Forum - Buick, Cadillac, Chev, Olds, GMC & Pontiac chat


Lounge For casual talk about things unrelated to General Motors. In other words, off-topic stuff. And anything else that does not fit Section Description.

Reply
 
 
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 07-27-2006, 09:45 AM   #1
Junior Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 0
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
wjcollier07 is on a distinguished road
Default Words to live by...

Never argue with an idiot. The people watching might not know the difference.

If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.

On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.

When you're laying in bed at night looking up at the stars, don't panic when you suddenly wonder "Where the Hell is the ceiling?!"

Remember, when someone annoys you, it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown. BUT, it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and SMACK the ******* upside the head.

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four people is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it'* you.

Just remember........if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

Some people are like Slinkies . . . not really good for anything, but you still can't help but giggle when you see one tumble down the stairs.

In the 60'* people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there'* a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

The things that come to those who wait may be the things left by those who got there first.

Birds of a feather flock together and then crap on your car.

If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

Don't assume malice for what stupidity can explain.

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing in the right place, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is buy a replacement.

If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth of the hole!

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile way and you have their shoes.

If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.

Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.

Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.

Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.

Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you've just made it again.

By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

Your mind not only wanders, it sometime leaves completely.

Sometimes you'll think you understand everything, then you'll regain consciousness.

A day without sunshine is like.................well, night.

Seen it all, done it all...........can't remember most of it.

Those who live by the sword..........get shot by those who don't.

Nothing is foolproof.............to a sufficiently talented fool.

Everybody lies........but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.

There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.

When I die, I want to die like my grandmother who died peacefully in her sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in her car.
wjcollier07 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-27-2006, 09:47 AM   #2
Senior Member
True Car Nut
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: NEBF:06,07 | NYBF:06,07 | ONBF:06,07 | CNBF:06 & more............
Posts: 8,029
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
bandit is on a distinguished road
Default

To many Words...

bandit is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-27-2006, 10:01 AM   #3
Senior Member
Certified Car Nut
 
dbeast420's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: My reclining computer chair
Posts: 11,269
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
dbeast420 is on a distinguished road
Default Re: Words to live by...

Quote:
Originally Posted by wjcollier07

Your mind not only wanders, it sometime leaves completely.
MOS'* Rule Of Productivity

I used to have a copy of this hanging above my desk at work:

God,
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I cannot accept, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had to kill today because they pissed me off.

Also help me to be careful of the toes I step on today as they may be connected to the *** that I may have to kiss tomorrow.

Help me to always give 100% at work:
12% on Monday
23% on Tuesday
40% on Wednesday
20% on Thursday
5% on Friday.

Help me to remember when I'm really having a bad day and it seems that people are trying to **** me that it takes 42 muscles to frown and only 4 to extend my middle finger and tell them to **** OFF !!!!!!!!!.
dbeast420 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-27-2006, 10:43 AM   #4
Senior Member
True Car Nut
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Right in front of you
Posts: 7,965
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
SSE14U24ME is on a distinguished road
Default

Those are hilarious!! Thanks for sharing them.
SSE14U24ME is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-27-2006, 10:59 AM   #5
Senior Member
Certified Car Nut
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Robbinsdale, MN
Posts: 15,408
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
MOS95B is on a distinguished road
Default Re: Words to live by...

Quote:
Originally Posted by dbeast420
MOS'* Rule Of Productivity
My contribution to productivity at my job is to refrain from giving my co"workers" the severe beatings they so richly deserve.
MOS95B is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-27-2006, 11:01 AM   #6
Senior Member
True Car Nut
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Right in front of you
Posts: 7,965
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
SSE14U24ME is on a distinguished road
Default Re: Words to live by...

Quote:
Originally Posted by MOS95B
Quote:
Originally Posted by dbeast420
MOS'* Rule Of Productivity
My contribution to productivity at my job is to refrain from giving my co"workers" the severe beatings they so richly deserve.
Me too :P I am often tempted to stab my boss with my pen At least he doesn't ask for backrubs anymore
SSE14U24ME is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-27-2006, 10:45 PM   #7
Senior Member
True Car Nut
 
Jack's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,105
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Jack is on a distinguished road
Default

Those who live by the sword fall by those who live by the gun
Jack is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-28-2006, 01:11 PM   #8
Senior Member
True Car Nut
 
tallbump's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Erie Pennsylvania
Posts: 3,808
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
tallbump is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.
Amen to both of those!!1
tallbump is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-28-2006, 01:53 PM   #9
Senior Member
True Car Nut
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Right in front of you
Posts: 7,965
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
SSE14U24ME is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by tallbump
Quote:
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.
Amen to both of those!!1
You got that right!!
SSE14U24ME is offline   Reply With Quote
 
 
Reply

Related Topics
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
New Canadian words added to the dictionary repinS Lounge 30 09-16-2003 08:48 PM
I would like to say a few words Burgundy_Boat Lounge 15 07-16-2003 10:25 PM
Painting exterior words Littlehovey Your Ride: GM Pictures & Videos 4 05-17-2003 08:36 PM
words and wisdom from Dr. Phil CraZyDriVer868 Lounge 7 05-09-2003 02:06 AM
Truer words were never spoken Burgundy_Boat General GM Chat 10 04-26-2003 11:50 AM


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 06:50 AM.


We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.