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Old 02-11-2006, 11:28 PM   #1
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Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?



Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?



Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?



Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?



Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?



Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?



Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?



Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?



Whose idea was it to put an "*" in the word "lisp"?



If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?



Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?



Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?



Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that

something new to eat will have materialized?



Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their
vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?



Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?



How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?



When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a

shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It'* all

right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you

stupid idiot?"



Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that'* falling

off the table you always manage to knock something else over?



In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?



How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
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Old 02-11-2006, 11:40 PM   #2
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wow. those are all so true!
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Old 02-11-2006, 11:45 PM   #3
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Also why is the word 'Abbreviation ' so long?
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Old 02-12-2006, 12:07 AM   #4
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very funny and true
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Old 02-12-2006, 12:18 AM   #5
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Default Re: Why?

Quote:
Originally Posted by PontiacDad
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?
Seems to help...

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?
It is called "kicking you when yo are down"

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Same reason people kick car tires when buying

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
Doesn't hold **** else together.


Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Congress got bored

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Rubbed off on Jane'* inner thighs.

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Might knock loose his breathing apparatus

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Military does a lot of dumb stuff

Whose idea was it to put an "*" in the word "lisp"?
It would be politically incorrect to spell it :Lithp"

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Things evolve at different rates.

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
D/know

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Yes god damnit, the ay my wife and I bought one

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that
something new to eat will have materialized?
YEAH, who does the grocery shopping.

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their
vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
Don't know

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
Magical bags.

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
Not as bad as dead bugs in the gauge display

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that'* falling
off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
CHRIST doth dole dat thou droppeth somethingeth andeth fobe banniseed toth HECK!

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
Their cooters get cold

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
FIL'* stay out of the way.


BRILLIANT Answers given.

Here is a question - People that think all caps means shouting on a message board and get upset, do they get offended by the fact that all the letters on a keyboard are caps? Do they see that as shouting?
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Old 02-12-2006, 12:29 AM   #6
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Default Re: Why?

Quote:
Originally Posted by impatient99
Here is a question - People that think all caps means shouting on a message board and get upset, do they get offended by the fact that all the letters on a keyboard are caps? Do they see that as shouting?
Pretty good question... perhaps would be better stated if we wrote something to the effect of: "If people think that typing in all caps means you are shouting, does this mean that your computer is always shouting at you?"
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Old 02-12-2006, 01:18 AM   #7
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Things that make you go Hmmmm! I've seen those recently and they are very good points to ponder!!
Thanks PDad, you are on a roll lately. Are you MOS'* relief jokster?
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Old 02-12-2006, 08:59 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SSE14U24ME
Things that make you go Hmmmm! I've seen those recently and they are very good points to ponder!!
Thanks PDad, you are on a roll lately. Are you MOS'* relief jokster?
Not really relief but in cahoots, kinda like George and Gracie or Penn and Teller
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Old 02-12-2006, 12:16 PM   #9
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Quote:
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Ah Hahahahahaha
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Old 02-12-2006, 12:30 PM   #10
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If nothing is supposed to stick to teflon, how does teflon stick to the pan?

If the road to hell is paved with good intentions, where to bad intentions lead?
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