"the only place success comes before work is in the dictionary. now lets go to work boys" my varsity basketball coach used it before one of our big games. i dont remember who said it first

"Good, bad, I'm the guy with the gun."

my favourite is "if you can laugh while others around you cry, it just means you went around the bend first and you might as well have some fun till the rest of them catch up!"

also depending on the circumstances:

"you and whose army??"

"i want to start life over under an assumed name"

"god has a nasty sense of humor"

since retired from work due to health problems "not my fault, i'm heavily overmedicated" even if i'm not that day!

and my all time, all around favourite......"OH ****!!!!!!"

i've got too many to tihnk of off the top of my head but i tihnk my all time fav has gotta be:

"If it doesn't fit, force it. If it breaks, f**k it it didn't fit anyway."

" I didn't do it"

If someone is threatening me or wants to take something i have...........

"I can't stop you from coming BUT,I can sure make ya wish ya hadn't taken that first step"

I did not see this in the list:

"Get er' done"