FTW

pwn3d

"(eric cartman voice)Screw you guys, I'm going home!"

"Life is one fin' beauty contest after another."

Laa tee f***ing dah

Time to go home yet? (at work)

Wheres my baseball

F*** you, you f***ing *******

Huh?? Sorry I was ignoring you

summore.

Fortunately stupidity is not a crime, you're free to go.

Most people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it, I believe that if it ain't broke, it don't got enough features yet.

haha I forgot that one, I say that all the time

These are some of the ones I use often:

What'* your malfunction?

It'* mind over matter- I don't mind, you don't matter

I can see how someone like you would say something like that

The one I use on co-workers, that always seems to **** them off:

"Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part."

What a car transmission says when Matt gets in.

This one is from an early Survivor season episode where Rudy was in a contest where he had to remember details of other member'* lives. He would read the question and would say, "I dunno" for most of them.
So that'* my quote they all know me for at work ever since then.
"I dunno"

I almost forgot...

"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."