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Old 10-18-2004, 08:23 PM   #1
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Default What to do about extreme constant anxiety?

I have always been sort of a nervous/anxious type of person but lately it has gone to an extreme. I'm in college right now and must keep a 3.5 GPA to keep my Trustees scholarship (which pays for all my schooling.) At first I was doing fine and keeping my GPA close to a 4.0. Well, both classes have gotten hard in a really bad way and my grades in both classes is dropping quickly. MY GPA is a 3.51 right now (almost below 3.5) and as soon as it goes below 3.5 I lose the scholarship. The stress of trying to keep my grades up is really taking its toll! I have been spending around 4 hours a night on homework for my 2 classes (16 credit hours worth) and on top of that I am working 35 hours a week. SO between classes, homework and work, I do nothing. That is ALL I do. I haven't even seen my friends for 2 months now. I have jsut gotten to the point that I am so stressed out that I can't even sleep at night because I feel like I shouldn't be sleeping and I should be working on studying or something to try and keep my grades up. any time I do get a little bit of free time I feel guilty just about and feel like I'm screwing myself by not using the time effectively. It just really sucks because now I find myself overworked constantly and chronically tired because I can't sleep because I stay up all nigth just thinking about how I'm not going to make it and keep my grades up enough to keep my scholarships and stay in school. On top of that I just feel like I'm doing all this for nothing and that I'm going to fail in some way.

It'* not just the school that the anxiety is part of too, I can't even be around people it seems like. the social anxiety is strong enough that I avoid hanging out with any friends or even talkign to people. The isolation in turn has lead to an extreme depression that sometimes gets bad enough that I can't even get myself to do anything at times. This has also caused me to take some risks I normally wouldn't do and wish I wouldn't have. (like going over 120 MPH at 2 in the morning on a back road in the middle of nowhere just for some kind of adrenaline rush.) Is this something that just sounds like anxiety or does it sound like something even more drastic like depression? I've been depressed it seems like for over a year now. Ever since my last year of high school it'* been downhill from there. Withdrawl has also been happening. I wanted to quit work (where I've been working for 3 years now) just because I wanted to get away from people. I even left this board for a few days just as a sort of withdrawl. Just needed to get this out I guess. I know it sounds stupid.

anyway, I have to get back to working on my term paper that'* due tomorrow and studying for my midterm.
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Old 10-18-2004, 08:28 PM   #2
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Oh great........well now I know what I have to prepaere for next week.
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Old 10-18-2004, 09:02 PM   #3
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I'm around people like you all the time.

Here is my advice: Cut your hours at work. You can't be that busy. You will end up with a nervous breakdown, and probably end up getting sick with Mono or something. Don't overwhelm yourself. Concentrate on school, and not so much with work.

EDIT: And it'* only school. Remember that. It'* just school.
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Old 10-18-2004, 09:33 PM   #4
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This is actually one of the most mis-diagnosed problems people have. The most common mis-diagnosis is depression, which is usually a RESULT of social anxiety but not necessarily the cause. It affects millions of people so you're not alone.

One big factor I noticed in what you described is the isolation from your friends. You need to make a STRONG effort to re-establish a relationship with them. Cut back on other activities if necessary. It sounds like it probably has roots in a chemical deficiency but is being amplified by the situation. I think you'll notice finding time for your friends will make a huge difference in your social anxiety. It might be a little nerve racking at first but after a while you'll notice that you're calmer and more relaxed socially.

I KNOW what you're going through and I can give you some more information if you'd like. Feel free to PM me or catch me on Yahoo or MSN.
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Old 10-18-2004, 09:36 PM   #5
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Yeah, coming from a fellow college student (who is also trying to keep a high GPA for scholarship)...take a couple deep breathes and relax. Stressing is counterproductive (not that you can really help it). Like Sol said, try seeing if you cut your work hours, most employers know that school has to come first. Also, remember it'* just Midterm week...it'll be over soon and you'll be okay when it'* over.
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Old 10-18-2004, 11:40 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DrJay
This is actually one of the most mis-diagnosed problems people have. The most common mis-diagnosis is depression, which is usually a RESULT of social anxiety but not necessarily the cause. It affects millions of people so you're not alone.

One big factor I noticed in what you described is the isolation from your friends. You need to make a STRONG effort to re-establish a relationship with them. Cut back on other activities if necessary. It sounds like it probably has roots in a chemical deficiency but is being amplified by the situation. I think you'll notice finding time for your friends will make a huge difference in your social anxiety. It might be a little nerve racking at first but after a while you'll notice that you're calmer and more relaxed socially.

I KNOW what you're going through and I can give you some more information if you'd like. Feel free to PM me or catch me on Yahoo or MSN.
Thanks for your understanding. I really do want to see my friends only problem though is that they have all went to colleges other than the one I have chose so I don't see any of them. We haven't kept in contact either for the most part, just been busy with our seperate lives I guess you could say. Then to add to the problem I'm quiet so most people think I really don't want to talk to them so they don't talk to me. I'm not unfriendly at all, in fact I'm really fun to be around and cool with people it just takes me a while to open up to people. This problem extends into relationships too. I'm too damn shy to ever take any action or anything. I work at a restaurant and most of the time I cook, but if I am forced to wait tables I don't think there'* a day that I don't come back with a couple of phone numbers from girls. lol. (I'll try just about anything to not have to wait on tables though.. I hate doing it!) It'* not that there aren't girls that like me because there are a lot I'm just way too shy (maybe scared) to do anything about it. It really SUCKS. I've talked to a doctor before about it and we came to the conclusion that I have all of the "symptoms" of "avoidant personality disorder." Didn't get far enough to talk about any solutions though.
http://www.psyweb.com/Mdisord/avpd.html

and yes, this is a really hard thing to even talk about with people let alone let an entire forum read about. Only a few of my closest friends know this about me.. not even my parents know this!
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Old 10-19-2004, 12:11 AM   #7
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my whole family takes meds for every type of depression. i am the only one that doesnt...sometimes i would say i need it. high school was a trip compared to college huh? i have an interview for a full time position at my new work place, thats over 40+ hours a week, plus 17 credits of school. i know how you feel, and i have done the 120+mph many a times...such a great feeling...wow

im not setting the best example for you by saying im getting that job, but i would cut the hours at work. dont tell them you just need to cut the hours, explain the situtation about the scholarship and how important it is, if they have any sort of feelings, they will understand.
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Old 10-19-2004, 12:14 AM   #8
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Hey Custom if you dont mind, id like to share my story, maybe it will make you feel a little better and not so, "this is only happening to me" type feeling...

A couple of years ago i was dating a girl names justina. she really was a very sweet girl. what i didnt see was how manupulative she was. slowly but surley she was turning me into her little pet. after 6 or 7 months it got to the point where she would call me an ******* and tell me that i should have never been in her life, then she would kiss me and say she loved me. and all this time i kept blaming myself. i never saw how crazy she was. Eventually she met a guy at her job and told me she was going to hang out with him. naturally i was worried but for some reason i was so stressed i threw up. i just figured that my stomach was upset and i would be fine. then the whole time they were "hanging out" i kept doing it. i threw up so much that i had to drink water just so i could throw that up without hurting myself. then she came home and called me. she said he never showed up and she was just upset that he didnt and hadnt called me becuase of it. well just the fact that she was upset over a "friend" not showing up should have triggered something in my mind, but instead i said, "its my fualt i threw up, im worrying too much. well to make this long story a little bit shorter this continused for about two months. she would try to hang out with him, i would throw up the whole time and then he "wouldnt show up."

Also while this was going on she was spending alot of time after school with a male teacher. im not talking an hour or whatever, i mean 4+ hours after school just talking to this guy. and this is supposedly stuff she would never tell me after we had been dating for 9 months. and one day she even came home crying becuase the teacher wouldnt hug her anymore. but i still blamed myself for everything, i said it was my fualt.

so during the course of all of this i tried medication. first nexium for my stomach, then paxil. the nexium helped a little but the paxil made all the problems go away. needless to say i was "happy again" after about two months on paxil i realized what i was doing. maybe the paxil clearled my mind, or maybe i just got sick of her ****. well i forced her to tell me everything, every lie she ever told me.

list of big lies she told me:
1) Her father raped her... twice.... LIE
2) She almost got chased down by two mexicans after work..LIE
3) She wasnt attracted to the teacher... LIE
and the biggest one..
She cheated on me, nearly every time she went out. everytime she went out and i stayed home in misery, she cheated on me.

we broke up about a week after that.

After that i spent two and a half years in anxious terror. i didnt want to leave becuase i thought everyone would do that to me. someone i had trusted so much had betrayed me the whole time. she took over my life even when she wasnt in it.

my point in all of this is, step back, look at whats going on. Your going to do long term damage if you dont come to terms with your anxiety soon. you have to sit alone and just think, cry, listen to music... whatever, but you need to find its source and change it. living in fear is no way to live. overcome it and be happy becuase you deserve it.

PM me if you want to talk to me more, dont forget you always have friends on BC
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Old 10-19-2004, 12:42 AM   #9
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Everyone is touching on good points. Something I wanted to add:

As I keep going through my college work I've figured out that to do well it helps to have an interest in your classes and KNOW that you can do a good job. Don't just think you can do well, know you can and kick some mother f'in homework ***!

Take the "badass gonna own all this school work like a bit--" approach.
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Old 10-19-2004, 02:49 AM   #10
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Yuppers take compleat control..go part time at work..that will help alot..dont ever let the attitute of owning everything over ever leave you..helps alot..i find i used that alot at work..
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