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Old 04-07-2006, 02:51 PM   #1
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Default Time for a Commercial Break (Potentially offensive language)

Not feeling that pep you used to have?

Find yourself feeling tired and weary even in the middle of the day?

Ask your doctor about trying Welfukya!

Through vigorous trials and years of research, Welfukya is now on the market making life brighter and better for people all over the world.

If you are feeling down or just not quite as vigorous as your more youthful self, give Welfukya a try!

Welfukya: making tomorrow a better tomorrow!

Possible Side Effects Include:
Tingling sensation in the back of the throat as well as accompanying sensation in the genital area.

May cause headaches, nausea, and copious weight gain.

28% of trial patients complained of dwarfism. No actual height loss was found.

May cause anal stigmata.

Has been shown to have possible adverse effects in people of Scottish heritage. Effects include: vomiting, diarrhea, and inexplicable yearnings for the soothing sensation of Michael Bolton'* music.

Not for use if pregnant. Can cause birth defects such as: incredible resemblance to Gilbert Gottfried, a third eye (not in the Zen way), male pattern baldness.

.01% of trial patients reported the odd sensation of becoming a peanut.

While half reported egregious constipation, 50% reported violent diarrhea. Basically, you ain't gonna be regular while using this medication.

15% of trial patients reported feelings of inadequacy coupled with violent crying jags punctuated by narcolepsy.

May lead to divorce.

14% of trial patients reported painful nine hour erections.

May cause nymphomania.

Welfukya has been shown to cause a drastic shortening of the left leg giving patients a distinct funny walk.

May cause adverse reaction to sunlight. Photosensitivity was reported by 82% of patients.

Can cause loss of productivity at work due to seizures.
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