Things Rednecks Never Say

1. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
2. Duct tape won't fix that.
3. Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael.
4. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.
5. We don't keep firearms in this house.
6. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
7. You can't feed that to the dog.
8. I thought Graceland was tacky.
9. No kids in the back of the pick-up, it'* not safe.
10. Wrasslin'* fake.
11. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
12. We're vegetarians.
13. Do you think my hair is too big?
14. I'll have grapefruit instead of biscuits and gravy.
15. Honey, do these bonsai trees need watering?
16. Who'* Richard Petty?
17. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
18. Deer heads detract from the decor.
19. Spitting is such a nasty habit.
20. I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.
21. Trim the fat off that steak.
22. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
23. The tires on that truck are too big.
24. I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.
25. I've got it all on a floppy disk.
26. Unsweetened tea tastes better.
27. Would you like your fish poached or broiled?
28. My fiancee, Betty Jo, is registered at Tiffany'*.
29. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
30. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.
31. Checkmate.
32. She'* too old to be wearing a bikini.
33. Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
34. Hey, here'* an episode of Hee Haw that we haven't seen.
35. I don't have a favorite college team.
36. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
37. I believe you cooked those green beans too long.
38. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.
39. Elvis who?


was digging through some old files on my computer here at work

aint that the truth.

aww come on now rednecks are people too. Kind of.

yes, we are, more than yall give us credit for.

That'* funny.


But honestly, what exactly defines a redneck?

hmmm...someone that goes huntin, fishin, 4 wheelin, and wears camo on a regular basis. also, you drink sweet tea and lemonade year round. you must live in the south too. thats just a few things.

I think you have to be from the southern States, and have less than six teeth.
But what do I know I'm Canadian were messed up in our own way.

The "Official" Jeff Foxworthy definition is "A glorious lack of sophistication."

And, as Jeff also says, You can't appreciate rednecks unless you are one. And I are one....

git er done

The STereotypical is one of the biggest rednecks there is. Bob and Doug MacKenzie ring a bell?