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Old 11-02-2007, 08:01 PM   #1
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Default Something "Moms" would understand....

As we all know me and my wife have had our moments (I'm sure we all have)...


And we all know that On Sept 20 our Son was born.. Well

Things leading up to that day had been rocky but we knew what and how to fix that. Well since that day It almost feels like we have hit the bottom and my fingers are worn out and the climb out to the top is hard....

With out going in to details on her past I will say I have brought up her 9yr old son and his behavior before here..

I will say my wife has had a $hity past There were problem at home as a child then she ran out at the age of 16 and shacked up with a guy who treated her like a door mat and a maid. then 20 years later she met me, Thats where it gets strange.

We had talked about maybe getting her into speak to someone about Bipolar but when push comes to shove my wife shoves gets mad blames everyone else (Me in general) and runs away.

Well since the baby throw on some post partom depression and it'* even worse. It'* not days anymore its minutes from one Nan to another. Well on Saturday in the middle of her mood swing flip out I packed up Leland and headed to my Mom'*. Now hang on before you say OMG..

We had a visit fomr a public health nurse (optional here) we opted.. what can it hurt. Well Nan'* mind set not wanting to answer questions the way she feels, and would rather give you the answer she thinks you want had the Nurse thinking I was beating her, hence the Nurse has been putting things into Nan'* head So off to Child rotective services ( MY CALL) where I met with the worker today that came to see us after we got home (thanks to my incident during the transfer thing) I should mention she had no concerns of any type of abuse by me but did notice Nan had mental health issues. but didn't really know how bad it was. She is firmly standing beside me and my decision to remove (not take away) Leland. Nan has an appointment Monday with her and Has promised me that she will go and speak to someone about her problem.. NOT that she is admitting a problem but rather to rove to me she doesn't have one.. reversed psychology from her Gp'* advice..

Like I told the social worker today I want the woman I fell in love with back.

So as of right now She sees Leland during the day and we come to my moms at night..

Oh did I mention that I am still moving her she has had all the time in the wolrd to get ready and on the 1st I was packing boxes and loading them. She has no ambition none at all and has to be reminded of simple things like today I took her to Ottawa for her 6 week we got back and I had to ge tpick up her son from school the baby needed to be changed 20 minutes I was gone only to return to her on the phone and baby still needing to be changed.

She shows all the signs of Bipolar and Post Partom depression And on monday she will be advised but CPS that she needs to seek councling.. Finally someone sees what I have been seeing.

/rant.

I don't even know why I typed this...

But the other day when I said that I was having a bad day I meant it.
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Old 11-02-2007, 08:21 PM   #2
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Holy wow...

It sounds like you are playing it cool though. Thanks good. I hope this all gets smoothed out soon. you two need to enjoy that little one of yours!
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Old 11-02-2007, 08:23 PM   #3
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Sorry to hear of the troubles. As a single dad now with a troubled son, I can almost relate to the episodes. While my son is NOT bipolar, I did question it and it appears that there were other things going on that hes now being treated for (VERY lengthy process).

Youve got a long road ahead of you and im sure that in the end, things will work out for you and your family. I cant tell you how many times Ive gone for a ride in my car and just screamed as loud as I could to relieve some of the stress that I was going through, or how many times while driving home from work, I would just break down.

We all have our good days and our bad. some of us have more bad than good, but hang in there. Your headed in the right direction and hopefully your wife will soon get the help she needs. Sometimes, people have to hit their lowest of their low in order to see the big picture. Maybe if hearing it from the doctors directly, your wife will come to terms that theres something wrong and accept treatment.

In the time I was away from the club, I have become a little more spiritual and have found some peace with that. I will say a prayer for you and your family. Hang in there!!

Im sure the rest of the club is behind you 100%
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Old 11-02-2007, 08:24 PM   #4
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I sure hope Nan can deal with this stuff honestly, and get back her life. She has a beautiful son that needs his Mom. I've been fighting depression for a long time now so I know a little of what she'* going thru and for me, my grandson has been a big part of my sanity. Hopefully she can get the same joy I get.
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Old 11-02-2007, 08:35 PM   #5
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I'm here for ya man. I know how the whole post-pardum depression thing is ( only I got it, she didn't... go figure ) I can't imagine how hard it must be to have other stuff stacked on top of it.
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Old 11-02-2007, 08:48 PM   #6
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I do not think he son is Bipolar only that He has learned her behavior..

She needs to get some help A.*.A.P.. SHe will be coming to spend the night tonight and I'm almost to the point where I will no longer do this, I will if she can not handle herself driver her to the Hospital and let the Mental Health Crisis team meet with her.

Sometimes It'* almost like she is doing to me what she really wants to do to her ex but can't find the strength to stand up to him. She used the term "I'm afraid of you" last week My mom an Abused spouse of 10 years and a non practicing Shrink called B.* on that one, Basically said that if she were afraid of me she wouldn't continue to do the things she is doing and it in fact is her who is the abuser.. Not her just her state Maybe I'm to nice maybe I take or took to much of it in the past and she thinks its ok to treat me like this, Is this an oppressed person gaining strength... I have no idea but I wish i knew what tripped it..
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Old 11-02-2007, 11:29 PM   #7
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Children become a product of their environment.

When my son was living with his mother about 3 years ago, he learned to take after her ways, and hes slowly turning things around, but he also visits with her every other weekend which probably doesnt help, so I can see how her son needs to be redirected. If your trying to get her help, at least your heading in the right direction for her to get better. Sometimes life will test a marriage like this and you just have to hang in there and do the best that you can to get her back to normal health for the safety of you and your son (if shes the abusive one)

I also understand that you can only hang in there for so long until everything you have tried has failed. I do hope that things will turn around for you and your family for the better. I know we havent really spoken to one another here or really know eachother, but I can relate, as I have gone through something similar but without the marriage.
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