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Old 12-06-2007, 03:06 AM   #1
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Has anyone here ever broken off a long term relationship. I'm in one right now, and I'm thinking it'* time for us to see other people. We've been together for over 6 years, high school sweethearts and all. The thing is, we've become more like best friends than lovers. We are just too different, personality wise. I'm an adventurous extrovert who loves people, large crowds, heights, anything fast and that sort of stuff. She is a shy introvert who connects more with animals, hates meeting new people, doesn't like anything even slightly dangerous. I'm looking for opinions here. Does this sound like something we should try to fix because of the time we already have invested in the relationship, or is it better that we just be friends? Oh yeah, I'm 25 and she'* 24.
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Old 12-06-2007, 03:21 AM   #2
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"friends" doesnt work, in my experience.

the most telling questions is: are you happy? if not, then break it off. dont blame it on "were too different" or something like that, because thats just a cop-out.

the time you invested in the relationship wasnt time spent investing in the relationship. it was time spent being together and making memories, those two arent necessarily the same thing. you can value the memories while realizing that the relationship is mostly done.

if you arent happy, break it off.

just my $0.02. relationships arent usually worth their effort.
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Old 12-06-2007, 03:40 AM   #3
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I can say from first hand (current) experience that the friends thing doesn't work out. Well, I also live with my ex girlfriend. We're more like a couple than friends, and it'* stressful for me. Just break clean off (at least for a while) or patch things up. If you're unhappy, you need to break it off. If you're happy, you can try working something out, but ultimately you will probably realize you should break up.

Friends things will probably not work.
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Old 12-06-2007, 03:45 AM   #4
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Just to add a little, we don't live together right now. She got a job about 1.5 hours from where I live. She hates it and want to move back to the area after her lease is up (about six months from now.) Because of the move, we already have seperate checking accounts and seperate car insurance polices and all that fun stuff. When we were living together, we had all of that stuff in both of our names, but we considered with the distance we each needed our own. We only see each other 2 days a week right now.
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Old 12-06-2007, 04:48 AM   #5
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no bueno, coming from someone who just got out of a 1 year relationship, she moved away, and **** hit the fan, but you know, i was happy, she wasnt, are you happy? you didnt say.
things seem to be very separated, was this your choice? hers? or mutual?
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Old 12-06-2007, 07:51 AM   #6
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Like said, are you happy?
Way I look at it, are there more good times or bad times?
Would you miss her more or be more happy to be single?

Don't think of the "time invested"
You still have good memories regardless.

People change, or "grow apart" if you will.
That;* the thing about "young love", as you grow older you begin to develop different interests.

It may be best to try the "time apart" thing,
Not geographically, as you are already there.

But spend some time "broken up" and see how you feel.
IMO, thought, if you are already having these thoughts, you already have your answer.
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Old 12-06-2007, 02:19 PM   #7
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I can tell you that long distance relationships are hard. right now me and my GF are 6 hours apart and I tell you what it is tough when you just want someone there to talk to in person. If you are having those feelings it is only going to make it rougher for both. The one thing is I would say wait till after the holidays then consider it but during the holidays would be just plain mean. it is not worth it if you are super unhappy. as it has been said before life changes ppl and can strain things. I am pretty sure you are not the same person you were in high school I know I am not. Hate to say it but that is all part of growing up
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Old 12-06-2007, 02:20 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tallbump
IMO, thought, if you are already having these thoughts, you already have your answer.
Good point, Brian.
Yes, if you clearly feel something is wrong it probably is. And think of it this way:
If you force your relationship, you might spend a life time of regret.

Weigh that to the 6 years you've spent together that you can recall fondly in the future, and you might be better off.
However you decide to play it, all the best.

Adam
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Old 12-06-2007, 02:42 PM   #9
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I would wait until after the Christmas holiday is over with. That would be a mean thing to do.

People often grow apart after several years especially when they were started when you were both so young. I would recommend to wait until after the holidays and then have a talk with her. Just be honest. You two have a long history together and you might be able to remain friends. It just depends on the type of woman she is and how you approach the split.

Good luck.
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Old 12-06-2007, 03:35 PM   #10
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i can't add much because what everyone else said is so true, but keep this in mind. I don't bealive that a person can drastically change their ways. you can break habits but you can't make someone be who they aren't. if you aren't happy with them "as-is" then trust your gut and let it go.
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