Redneck Valentine Poem


Collards is green,
my dog'* name is Blue
and I'm so lucky
to have a sweet thang like you.

Yore hair is like cornsilk
a-flapping in the breeze.
Softer than Blue'*
and without all them fleas.

You move like the bass,
which excite me in May.
You ain't got no scales
but I luv you anyway.

Yo're as satisfy'n as okry
jist a-fry'n in the pan.
Yo're as fragrant as "snuff"
right out of the can.

You have some'a yore teeth,
for which I am proud;
I hold my head high
when we're in a crowd.

On special occasions,
when you shave under yore arms,
well, I'm in hawg heaven,
and awed by yore charms.

Still them fellers at work,
they all want to know,
what I did to deserve
such a purdy, young doe.

Like a good roll of duct tape
yo're there fer yore man,
to patch up life'* troubles
and fix what you can.

Yo're as cute as a junebug
a-buzzin' overhead.
You ain't mean like those far ants
I found in my bed.

Cut from the best cloth
like a plaid flannel shirt,
you spark up my life
more than a fresh load of dirt.

When you hold me real tight
like a padded gunrack,
my life is complete;
Ain't nuttin' I lack.

Yore complexion, it'* perfection,
like the best vinyl sidin'.
despite all the years,
yore age, it keeps hidin'.

Me 'n' you'* like a Moon Pie
with a RC cold drank,
we go together
like a skunk goes with stank.

Some men, they buy chocolate
for Valentine'* Day;
They git it at Wal-Mart,
it'* romantic that way.

Some men git roses
on that special day
from the cooler at Kroger.
"That'* impressive," I say.

Some men buy fine diamonds
from a flea market booth.
"Diamonds are forever,"
they explain, suave and couth.

But for this man, honey,
these won't do.
Cause yor'e too special,
you sweet thang you.
I got you a gift,
without taste nor odor,
more useful than diamonds...
IT'* A NEW TROLL'N MOTOR

Sounds like some of the guys up here in N.H.!!!!

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Thanks Dad!!!!

Yeah, I can just see how your wife will handle this one! I see the end result as you in the backyard in a sleeping bag (if she'* feeling generous). :P

That was the poem PDad wrote for PMom on their first valentines day after they were married

Thats Pmom

awww...i think i am gonna be sick lol . i guess this just is a bad time for this day to come along

good thing it was AFTER otherwise she may have reconsidered! LOL

Nah, he is pretty great.....even though he did forget my birthday

so a wife asked her husband for a watch for her birthday. he replies: why do you need a watch theirs a clock on the stove.....dont hurt me