I hate the sound of those things. And it wouldn't work anyways. They get buried in the grass and whatnot. I'm just waiting for my little trees to grow just enough that lopping off their heads with the mower will be extremely satisfying...

stick em on your nose

After reading this I went and knocked over a little tree (Balsm Fir) in the backyard for ya, fire pit season begins

Stan - just borrow a small missile, take it home, and blast them into the next county!

Back on topic, those are cool trees 'Maple', dont see any out here in the north west rockies.
Wonder if one wood grow in my front yard?
How long does it take grow a Maple tree?

Those are some great ideas - cut down the tree, vacuum the yard (driveway, dirt), get a blower, use a flamethrower. Nobody suggested I should blast? Edit: Archon did!

Problem with cutting the tree is 1) it provides nice shade for the cars sittin' in the driveway and 2), knowing me I'd put the thing through the house, on the truck, or drop it in the street in front of a cop. And I have my own chainsaw so it'* against the code to hire someone who actually knows what he'* doing.

Vacuum is actually a grand idea. I can see me out in the front yard in a French Maid outfit and my wife'* Eureka. She wouldn't go for her vacuum in the yard. I could use the shop vac, but I'd look pretty silly in a French Maid outfit and a shop vac. The real problem, though, is that in addition to the 1.5 million ‘copters on the ground is the 27.8 million that are still on the tree. As soon as I’m done vacuuming, the yard will be coated again. Actually, I put the bag on the Honda and mowed ‘em down. It sucked them up pretty good, but I get the same result – an hour later they’re back.

I haven’t had great luck with a blower. They just fly up in the air then come right back like they have their own little brain. The ones in the grass actually dig in head first and are difficult to dislodge. MOS knows what I’m talkin’ ‘bout.

The flamethrower is my kind of tool. Problem here is that my wife would most likely take it away from me after she sees me using it to light the “bad kids’” cigarettes out behind the school bus stop. She can suck the fun out of anything. (Don’t tell her I said that).

Blasting is out for similar reasons – I’d just get in trouble for blowing the neighbors’ mailboxes into orbit (alongside “Scotty”).

I tried sticking them on & up my nose, per Gumby'* advice. This worked well, but even though I have a schnoz to rival Jimmy Durante, I soon ran out of room with half the yard yet to be picked up. And I'm apparently allergic to the things because I sneezed the stupid things all over the house.

I don't have access to SMALL missiles, unfortunately. They're rather large and while it would be highly effective in ridding me of my helicopter problem, I don't think the neighbors 100 miles away would appreciate the smoldering crater that was once West Point.

I think I’ve found a clandestine way to dispose of them, however. I’ll know in a couple days. In the meantime, any other ideas?

I know where you can get some seeds.

I know where he can get a ton of seedlings!!

Well, if you want to be serious about it, all that I have ever done is run them over with a lawnmower. I have a mulcher, and it chew them up fairly well. Then, like MOS, when the little buggers start to grow, they don't last long after being run over a few times.

Yeah, the yard looks terrible for a week or two (or longer depending on how many gusts of wind come along) but they can't last forever. It just seems like it.

Hey Stan....this above quote gives me an idea

I did it! I got the little buggers!! Chopped all their little friggin' heads off last night. And their little friggin' dandelion friends, too.

First mow of the season. Looks like crap as usual. But once the gras, weeds, and them damned trees get used to getting mowed, I might actually have a decent looking lawn this year...