New Rules - GM Forum - Buick, Cadillac, Chev, Olds, GMC & Pontiac chat


Lounge For casual talk about things unrelated to General Motors. In other words, off-topic stuff. And anything else that does not fit Section Description.

Reply
 
 
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 01-12-2006, 10:49 AM   #1
Senior Member
Certified Car Nut
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Robbinsdale, MN
Posts: 15,408
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
MOS95B is on a distinguished road
Default New Rules

New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for Classmates.com! There'* a reason
you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you don't particularly like
them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing
these days: mowing my lawn.

New Rule: Don't eat anything that'* served to you out a window unless you're
a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a
bowl of Wendy'* chili. Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What did you expect
it to contain? Trout? Luckily, it was only a finger! If it was a whole hand,
Congress would have voted to keep it alive.

New Rule: Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blonde
teachers are permanently damaged. I have a better description for these
kids: lucky bastards.

New Rule: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here'* how much men care about
your eyebrows: do you have two of them? Okay, we're done.

New Rule: There'* no such thing as flavored water. There'* a whole aisle of
this crap at the supermarket, water, but without that watery taste. Sorry,
but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour
some scotch over ice and let it melt. That'* your flavored water.

New Rule: Stop f***ing with old people. Target is introducing a redesigned
pill bottle that'* square, with a bigger label. And the top is now the
bottom. And by the time grandpa figures out how to open it, he will be
in the morgue. Congratulations, Target , you just solved the Social Security
crisis.

New Rule: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the *******.
If you walk into a Starbucks and order a "decaf grande half-soy, half-low
fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light
ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet," ooh, you're a huge *******.

New Rule: Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make
you spiritual. It'* right above the crack of your ***. And it translates to
"beef with broccoli." The last time you did anything spiritual, you were
praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You're just high.

New Rule: Competitive eating isn't a sport. It'* one of the seven deadly
sins. ESPN recently televised the US Open of Competitive Eating, because
watching those athletes at the poker table was just too damned exciting.
What'* next, competitive farting? Oh wait. They're already doing that. It'*
called "The Howard Stern Show."

New Rule: I don't need a bigger mega M&M. If I'm extra hungry for M&Ms, I'll
go nuts and eat two.

New Rule: If you're going to insist on making movies based on crappy, old
television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote so
we can see what'* playing on the other screens. Let'* remember the reason
something was a television show in the first place is the idea wasn't good
enough to be a movie.

New Rule: No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for
weddings. Now it'* for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab.
Picking up the stuff you want and having other people buy it for you isn't
gift giving, it'* the rich people version of looting.

New Rule, and this one is long overdue: No more bathroom attendants. After
I zip up, some guy is offering me a towel and a mint like I just had sex
with George Michael. I can't even tell if he'* supposed to be there, or just
some freak with a fetish. I don't want to be on your web cam, dude. I just
want to wash my hands.

New Rule: When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to know in
months. "27 Months." "He'* two," will do just fine. He'* not a cheese. And
I honestly didn't care in the first place.
MOS95B is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-12-2006, 10:58 AM   #2
Senior Member
True Car Nut
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Central Florida
Posts: 7,030
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
lash is on a distinguished road
Default

lmao!!

My morning laugh *wipes tears from eyes*.

Thanks!



P.*. I've seen some of them, but not all, and still good.
lash is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-12-2006, 11:00 AM   #3
DINOSAURUS BOOSTUS

Expert Gearhead
 
BillBoost37's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Enfield, CT
Posts: 41,391
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
BillBoost37 is a glorious beacon of lightBillBoost37 is a glorious beacon of lightBillBoost37 is a glorious beacon of lightBillBoost37 is a glorious beacon of lightBillBoost37 is a glorious beacon of lightBillBoost37 is a glorious beacon of light
Default

LilSis isn't spiritual... oh man
BillBoost37 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-12-2006, 11:02 AM   #4
Senior Member
True Car Nut
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Right in front of you
Posts: 7,965
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
SSE14U24ME is on a distinguished road
Default

Good one! Thanks for the laugh this morning!
SSE14U24ME is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-12-2006, 06:54 PM   #5
Senior Member
Certified Car Nut
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Quincy, Ma
Posts: 15,341
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Gumball is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
I don't need a bigger mega M&M. If I'm extra hungry for M&Ms, I'll
go nuts and eat two.

Funny thing is when they came out I thought the same thing.
only Im thinking a fist full
Gumball is offline   Reply With Quote
 
 
Reply

Related Topics
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Some new rules.......... dbeast420 Lounge 13 08-15-2007 11:43 AM
George Carlins' New Rules For 2007 (SOME CONTENT WARNING) LakevilleSSEi Lounge 6 01-17-2007 04:56 PM
New Rules For 2006 95seand78z28 Lounge 6 10-27-2006 03:40 PM
New Rules for 2006 PontiacDad Lounge 4 01-28-2006 10:48 AM
New Rules for New Drivers 2000SilverBullet Lounge 26 10-13-2003 09:21 PM


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 10:02 PM.


We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.