I just got a new Cadillac Escalade yesterday,but returned to the dealer the next day complaining that I could not figure out how the radio worked.

The salesman explained that the radio was voice activated. "Watch this!" He said "Nelson". The radio replied, "Ricky or Willie?" "Willie" he continued and on the road again came from the speakers.

I drove away happy and for the next few days everytime I'd say "Beethoven!" I'd get beautiful classical music, and if I said "Beatles!" I'd get one of their awesome songs.

I had a narrow escape yesterday when a couple ran a red light and nearly creamed my car. Swerving in time to avoid them I stuck my head out the window and yelled. "A-holes!" Just then the French National Anthem began to play sung by Jane Fonda, Michael Moore and the Dixie Chicks, backed up by the Rev. Jesse Jackson on Guitar, Al Sharpton on the drums and Hillary Clinton on Kazoo.

I would have kept it!