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Old 03-31-2006, 05:26 PM   #1
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Default New(?) Beer Warning Labels

Due to increasing products liability litigation, American beer brewers have accepted the FDA'* suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all beer containers:

1. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra.

2. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

3. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.

4. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

5. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

6. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

7. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.

8. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your *** kicked.

9. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary.

10. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.

11. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

12. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

13. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

14. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time-space continuum, whereby gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.
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Old 03-31-2006, 10:32 PM   #2
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Default Re: New(?) Beer Warning Labels

Quote:
Originally Posted by MOS95B

9. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary.
This one seriously needs to be on a Jack Daniels bottle!
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Old 03-31-2006, 10:34 PM   #3
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No disrespecting Uncle Jack.
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Old 03-31-2006, 10:37 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vital49
No disrespecting Uncle Jack.
Not my uncle but my best freind that laughs behind my back as i leave the bar with a set of beer goggles on
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Old 03-31-2006, 10:43 PM   #5
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<--- Avid Jack drinker.
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Old 03-31-2006, 10:44 PM   #6
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i think they should put that on anything containg more than .000001% alcohol....
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Old 03-31-2006, 10:44 PM   #7
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Only thing i drink. Unless i mix it with Coke-A-Cola!
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Old 03-31-2006, 10:45 PM   #8
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Straight Gentleman Jack is the way to go. On the rocks, of course!
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Old 04-01-2006, 02:01 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vital49
Straight Gentleman Jack is the way to go. On the rocks, of course!
straight shots with a coke chaser is the way I prefer it. I have learned that you must always pay Mr. Jack Daniels proper respect or he will kick you ***!!!
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