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View Poll Results: What should I do??????
YES GET CHINS INVOLVED 2 25.00%
NO SEND HIM TO THE DOCTORS FIRST 6 75.00%
Voters: 8. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 12-20-2006, 11:05 AM   #1
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Well, I dont want to get too much into it, but things havent been easy for me and they seem to be getting worse

My son seems to be getting into trouble more and more these days at school and at home. Forget about outside of the home, since I dont allow him to go out anymore. He always ended up with the wrong crowd.

Anyhow, I am thinking of putting a CHINS on him and once I do, its out of my hands and in the courts hands. This is some serious stuff this CHINS and I wanted to ask what your opinions were before I locked in my decision.

I dont want to see my son continue his destructive path, but I also can no longer live this way. From my waking hour until bedtime, there is always conflict with one thing or another.

I have attached a link explaining the CHINS program and how it works. At the beginning of the new year, I plan to have my son re-evaluated for neurological disorders to see if theres something else that may be going on with him that was previously misdiagnosed.

I really dont know where else to turn, so your opinions are appreciated. Thanks!!

PS: he is currently on probation until march of 07. I dont know if this will count against him but im really at my ropes end.

http://www.clcm.org/chins.htm
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Old 12-20-2006, 11:17 AM   #2
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Crack down. By whatever means necessary. It'* not what he thinks of you now that matters. It'* what he thinks of you later in life when he realizes his success was because of your actions.
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Old 12-20-2006, 11:34 AM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by willwren
Crack down. By whatever means necessary. It'* not what he thinks of you now that matters. It'* what he thinks of you later in life when he realizes his success was because of your actions.
I have to agree with you, Bill. I raised Jeff with an iron fist and made sure he did right. I didn't give him the chance to get into trouble. I was very strict. To this day Jeff knows not to push the limits. He is old enough now that he pretty much does as he pleases but I have set some limits for him. He has turned out to be a fine young man and we have as much mutual respect for each other as we do love.
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Old 12-20-2006, 11:44 AM   #4
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I know this isn't what the parents want to hear, and this is wierd coming from a 16 year old, but military school. I have personally seen kids changed just by joining JROTC at the high school. Imagine what living there could do.
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Old 12-20-2006, 02:10 PM   #5
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Just imagine you're in the 1960'*. Some kids need a quick attention-getting left hook.

Realistically I think it comes down to dominace and trust. Find a way to get them back.
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Old 12-20-2006, 02:21 PM   #6
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Thanks for the advice...keep them coming.

The thing is, I looked into sending my son to Boot camp and as it turns out, it is not recommended for children with ADHD. Military school is almost along those lines, so I dont think that route will work.

From what I gather and know so far, ADHD is a chemical inbalance that slows one part of the brain. You can either take a stimulant that speeds up the slow part, or a non-stimulant that slows down the fast part. My son is taking the Stimulant.

What I have noticed about my son when given specific tasks like homework for instance, he gets so overwhelmed at the amount of work he has to complete in a short period of time, that he gets frustrated and just quits and gives up. Sometimes when he misinteprets the assignment, and I try to explain the directions to him, he gets bent out of shape and storms off, not doing ANY of his work.

In one of my previous posts about my son, I mentioned that it took over an hour to complete 12 or so questions. During this time, it is very difficult to stay focused for him since he is worrying about other things like the next assignment etc.........

I never really understood ADHD until I started reading about it and finding out that there are usualy "other" neurological disorders that are combined with ADHD such as Bipolar as well as ODD which stands for oppositional defiance Disorder.

I dont really know if he has any of those other disorders, which is why I want to have him re-evaluated as well as an MRI to find out if it could possibly be something physical in his brain that causes him to act the way he does.

While I have always maintained that I would only go to the extreme when all else fails, Im thinking that the re-evaluation will do some good as well as pinpoint the issues that are at hand right now.

As any parent would be, im torn in the middle. Maybe all my son needs is this re-evaluation to get him on the right track. Maybe he might just need to be involved with CHINS.

I really dont know. And with all of the other things going on in my life, waking up is sometimes hard to do knowing what lies ahead of me.

These issues, among other things, have caused hardships between my GF and I, has effected my work performance, and has even made me so depressed that I am thinking of seeing a doctor to treat it.

Im really in a tough spot right now, and with Christmas approaching and all, im not even going to celebrate it. its just tough :(
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Old 12-20-2006, 02:45 PM   #7
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Sorry about the situation...

I have a friend with ADHD and I've had ADD since I was about 5 (although never medicated)... I eventually have gotten SOME control over it, I still have problems but I'm not nearly as bad as I used to be (I used to take just as long as your son to get assignments done...or longer)

My mom had problems with my sister like you're having with your son. She started to drink constantly, come home drunk, smoke in the house, have guys over at all hours of the night, skipping school, you name it. My mom did the same thing as you and basically had my sister staying here 95% of the time since it was just a hassle... luckily for my mom when it was getting its worst it was time for amanda to go to college.. where she was alone, made mistakes and learned for herself... failed out of college and had to go get a job and her own place and she wisened up.

Not sure what to tell you about your son though :(
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Old 12-20-2006, 06:58 PM   #8
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Its good your getting him re-evaluated. To me, having an ADHD son, it sounds like either the meds aren't working or the doseage is off and its time to look at it. Once my son was diagnosed and the meds 'dialed in' there was a remarkable difference. On the other hand, you might want to look into couselling. It sounds like there'* alot of built in anger manifesting itself that needs to be dealt with professionally imo.
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Old 12-20-2006, 07:16 PM   #9
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Keep in mind that ADHD is now under the Autisim Spectrum, and does not have be treated with meds, and be controled through behavioural therapy, this is what I do for a living. Have your child checked out thoroughly by a pediatrician, who specializes in behaviours and then go from there. Keep in mind that maybe your child is having allergy attacks, I know that sounds strange, allergies manifest themselves in strange ways.

If these things are not factors, then I a must agree with Bill and Tracy, I am a strict parent, and what PDad and I say is the law. Not ifs, or buts about it. You are the boss, not the child, and you as the parent have the right to discipline your child as you see fit, excluding abuse.
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Old 12-20-2006, 11:38 PM   #10
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JROTC.
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