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Old 02-23-2008, 02:39 PM   #1
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Default Need advice from a hopefully more mature than I am, crowd.

Okay, so let'* start.. This involved my girlfriend Katlyn, her friend/ex friend Jackie, Me, and another ex, melissa..

Well, in '06, I met this girl online, named Jackie. BEgan talking, decided I really liked her. We met.. And, things just didn't go well. So, she used my current gf'* dad as an excuse to have me take her home. What happened was she said 'my friends dad is going into surgery I need to be back at my house..' I said okay, and went quickly two towns back.. Few weeks later, I met this girl Melissa. I'm friends with her to this day , and that'* how I met my current gf. I met Melissa through jackie, so.. And then last month, Melissa introduces me to Katlyn, who I'm dating now.

The problem lies where Jackie'* boyfriend, got her pregnant.. Girl is 17 or 18.. Okay, so.. She claims to be my girlfriends' best friend, and still treats her like ****.. The moment we started dating, drama started between the two of them, and.. She went with my gf to the woman doctor, and there she blamed her baby'* miscarraige on MY GF.. now, keep in mind, jackie'* bf is a cheating worthless SOAB , but..

My girlfriend keeps talking to this girl, even though she treats me like ****, and my gf is treated like ****.

What do I do? I've told my gf that I'm sick of being involved in their drama because the girl doesn't like me. My gf claims to "love" me, yet.. she isn't willing to let go of a friendship. She told me they've been close for about 7 or 8 years now, I can see not wanting to leave that, but when you're treated like ****, something'* gotta give right? i'm crazy about this chick and I don't want to walk away, never been happier in my life with someone..

What should I do?
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Old 02-23-2008, 03:03 PM   #2
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Well the ammount of drama mentioned in that thread just about made my head explode. I woudlnt hate the girl to much for blaming losing her baby on people, there is probably not much more of a tramatic experiance on earth. Also whether she loves you or not doesn't change how good of friends she is with her friends. If her friend lost a baby she is in a pretty bad place and your gf staying her friend even tho shes treating everyone around her like **** while she gets through this shows that she is a good friend. That being said if arnt happy in your situation leave it behind, but it doesnt sound like your unhappy enough with your girlfriend to leave her. In case you were considering it asking her to pick between her friend and you is the same as dumping her. So if you wanna ask then just dump her. Maybe someone else will chime in and give you some better advise =P I probably wouldnt have answered this at all but i jsut woke up and im tired.
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Old 02-23-2008, 03:25 PM   #3
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i'm gonna talk to her tonight

i just dont' like the girl named jackie, she'* into drama

she broke me and melissa up after a week of going out, she simply said "him or me" her knowing jackie longer, chose her.
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Old 02-23-2008, 03:46 PM   #4
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wow, drama is right...

you have to be somewhat understanding cause of the loss of the baby. that has got to be hard on anyone! BUT if this was happening before that and is continuing to happen then you're right, somethings got to give. Honestly though, I would just walk away from it all. if the drama bothers you that bad just up and leave it. i had to do it once myself, couldn't stand it anymore. friends are one thing that a boyfriend can't compete against. period.
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Old 02-23-2008, 05:13 PM   #5
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You cant force a person to do what you want, or see things as you see them. They need to do this for them self. Just like you cant tell a person to quite smoke, drinking, doing drugs, or over eating. They need to see it for them self. Your best bet is to talk to her and state how you feel, you wont stand between them, and will be there for her. But your not comfortable around this other girl, so you would rather not spend time near her. Things get better as you age, trust me. Well, sometimes atleast. If you try to force her to see it your way, she will fight back. All you can do is work her in the correct dirrection. Good luck.
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Old 02-23-2008, 07:26 PM   #6
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Default Re: Need advice from a hopefully more mature than I am, crow

Quote:
Originally Posted by erics00ls
My gf claims to "love" me, yet.. she isn't willing to let go of a friendship.
those two issues are completely separate. "love" doesn't mean that she walks away from friendships on your say-so, regardless of why you said-so. thats a scary sentence.

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Originally Posted by Darrel
Honestly though, I would just walk away from it all.
X500.
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Old 02-23-2008, 10:08 PM   #7
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I would run away screaming. The women will pick their friends almost every time. And some people are friends with people they shouldn't be. Some friendships are all one way. But they will choose their friends over a boyfriend still.

You could do like the king salomon story and next time her friend says him or me tell her that a real friend wouldn't make you choose. Likely that if she treats your gf like **** then she wont want you coming in and treating her nice. She'll all the sudden spend less time with her friend. She keeps your gf around for some reason though she treats her poorly. Some part of her needs something your girlfriend provides but wont admit to it.

If you haven't made the commitment then slowly back out, but still do stuff. If she asks why you seem distant be honest. Tell her you wont make her choose but you cant be in the drama constantly. She'll probably pick her friend but you leave knowing it wasn't in your hands and you were honest and didn't play their games.

If you have to have her because you LOVE her, grit your teeth and suffer through it. Once you marry someone you might outrank their friends. My guess is that you're probably young enough that you can catch one of the other fish in the sea.
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