My wife and I are watching "Who Want'* To be A Millionaire" while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"
"No", she answered. I then said, "Is that your final answer?" She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes." So then I said, "I'd like to phone a friend."

And that'* when the fight started.


I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" It warmed my hear to see her face melt in sweet appreciation. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"

And that'* when the fight started.


When I got home last night, my wife demanded I take her some place expensive. So I took her to the gas station.

And that'* when the fight started.


My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels on the TV. She asked, "What'* on TV?"
I said, "Dust."

And that'* when the fight started.


I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. "I'll have the NY strip steak, medium rare please." He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?" "Nah, she can order for herself."

And that'* when the fight started.


Saturday morning, I quietly got up, got dressed, made my lunch and grabbed the dog, and quietly slipped into the garage. I hooked up the boat to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day. I went back into the house, quietly undressed and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife'* back, now with different anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.' My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my husband is out fishing in that?'

And that'* when the fight started.


My wife once told me she wanted me to whisper dirty things in her ear. So, I whispered, "Kitchen, bathroom, living room...."

And that'* when the fight started.


A man and a women were asleep like two babies. Suddenly, at 3am, a loud noise came from outside. The women, bewildered, jumped from up from the bed and yelled at the man "Holy crap, its my husband!" So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped out the window. He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and to his car as fast as he could go. A few minutes later he returned and went up to his bedroom and screamed at his women, 'I am your husband!' The women yelled back, 'Yeah, why were you running?'

And that'* when the fight started.

LOL

My neighbor asked how has your marriage lasted so long, I said we go to this little French restaurant twice a week. I go on Tuesday and she goes on Thursday

Ha ha ha, good ones Mike!