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Old 10-29-2003, 07:46 AM   #1
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Default Math and Logic (sort of)

RELATIONSHIP MATH

Smart man + smart woman = romance

Smart man + dumb woman = affair

Dumb man + smart woman = marriage

Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE MATH

Smart boss + smart employee = profit

Smart boss + dumb employee = production

Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
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Old 10-29-2003, 12:03 PM   #2
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Old 10-29-2003, 12:20 PM   #3
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Its scary cuz its true
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Old 10-29-2003, 01:43 PM   #4
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It'* funny cause it'* true...
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Old 10-29-2003, 02:04 PM   #5
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MOS vs Boat....tough call on you is our resident comedian. Good to have both
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Old 10-29-2003, 07:44 PM   #6
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LMAO... your next
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Old 10-29-2003, 09:54 PM   #7
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hehehe much needed laugh at work. Thanks!

Sad (funny) but true...

--Christine
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Old 10-29-2003, 10:47 PM   #8
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its mainly true my a dumb employee cuz i work alot of o/t
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