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Old 11-08-2007, 01:16 PM   #1
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Default Lol now this is funny *language warning*

WHEN GIRLS DON'T PUT OUT
This was written by a guy... it'* pretty damn smart. and funny so just go with it
(Girls -- Have a sense of humor!)


One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like
it, I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That'* fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let'* go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?"

I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.
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Old 11-08-2007, 01:38 PM   #2
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LOL!!!!!!! that was hilarious, thanks for sharing.
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Old 11-08-2007, 01:43 PM   #3
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Heh, here come the REPOST!police.

http://www.bonnevilleclub.com/forum/...ic.php?t=42397

just kidding
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Old 11-08-2007, 01:43 PM   #4
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LMAO!!

I've seen that one before...can't remember where...uhm, I think it was in an email at home. I made the mistake of thinking my wife would think it was funny...

I guess I'll never learn.
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Old 11-08-2007, 01:53 PM   #5
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I would LOVE to do that to some deserving female!!!

Good one Leslie even if it IS a repost
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Old 11-08-2007, 02:08 PM   #6
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sounds like a typical disfuncinital marrige..

but that made my day.
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Old 11-08-2007, 02:22 PM   #7
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That is the funniest thing I have seen in some time.
Thanks for the laugh.
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Old 11-08-2007, 03:33 PM   #8
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Well atleast it'* not a repost from the same day this time This one is atleast 2 years old
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Old 11-08-2007, 03:39 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pearl_bonnie02
Well atleast it'* not a repost from the same day this time This one is atleast 2 years old
I was just kidding :(

But it is still funny
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Old 11-08-2007, 05:56 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lash
I've seen that one before...can't remember where...uhm, I think it was in an email at home. I made the mistake of thinking my wife would think it was funny...
<Deletes the email he almost sent>
Thanks for inserting the common sense there Lash! LOL
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