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Old 04-29-2008, 07:06 PM   #1
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UPS..... Just in case you need a laugh:

Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one. Reassurance for those of us who fly routinely in our jobs.

After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an *) by maintenance engineers.

By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.

~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.

*: Almost replaced left inside main tire.





P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

*: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.





P: Something loose in cockpit

*: Something tightened in cockpit





P: Dead bugs on windshield.

*: Live bugs on back-order.





P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent

*: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.





P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

*: Evidence removed.





P: DME volume unbelievably loud.

*: DME volume set to more believable level.





P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

*: That'* what friction locks are for.





P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.

*: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.





P: Suspected crack in windshield.

*: Suspect you're right.





P: Number 3 engine missing.

*: Engine found on right wing after brief search.





P: Aircraft handles funny.

*: Air craft warned to: straighten up, fly right, and be serious.





P: Target radar hums.

*: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.





P: Mouse in cockpit.

*: Cat installed.






(And the best one for last....... ......... .)



P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.

*: Took hammer away from midget
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Old 04-29-2008, 07:12 PM   #2
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That is awesome!!
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Old 04-29-2008, 07:18 PM   #3
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While these are really funny, I'm sure I'd be really PO'd if I was one of the pilots. lol
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Old 04-29-2008, 07:32 PM   #4
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lol
that make me want to get on a plane
for the first time this june
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Old 04-29-2008, 07:36 PM   #5
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those were pretty funny, although i would say that the pilots were a little vague in a lot of their reports

like: "something loose in cockpit"
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Old 04-29-2008, 08:01 PM   #6
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That totally made me night. I bet even the pilots laughed.
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Old 04-29-2008, 08:16 PM   #7
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Heard them a few times before but still very funny. Thanks for the laugh.
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Old 04-29-2008, 08:17 PM   #8
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lol thats great
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Old 04-29-2008, 08:28 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by *B2*
Heard them a few times before but still very funny. Thanks for the laugh.
Yes, it'* been going around the net for several years, attributed to just about every airline imaginable. Including the military.
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Old 04-29-2008, 08:39 PM   #10
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Hilarious! I've never seen this before.
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