Lock my wife up.....
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From: My reclining computer chair

A woman was caught shoplifting in a supermarket on Miami Beach and was arrested and hauled off by police car to appear in night court, where she had been joined by her long-suffering husband.
They had been in this very courtroom, before the same judge, earlier in the week, squabbling over marital spousal support in their on-going divorce trial.
The prosecutor had the store'* TV security tape, which proved the theft by the woman had taken place so the judge said, considering her previous record for similar offenses, he was forced to impose a jail term.
"This time you stole a can of tomatoes. I am going to guess that there were six tomatoes in the can. Do you agree?"
The woman agreed.
"Then I sentence you to six nights in jail."
The husband jumped to his feet addressing the judge, "Your honor, may I approach the bench?"
"Well," said the judge, this is a bit unusual but I'll make an exception in this case. You may approach the bench."
The husband wasted no time getting up to the judge'* podium and leaning forward, he said in a low voice,
"She also stole a can of peas, your honor."
They had been in this very courtroom, before the same judge, earlier in the week, squabbling over marital spousal support in their on-going divorce trial.
The prosecutor had the store'* TV security tape, which proved the theft by the woman had taken place so the judge said, considering her previous record for similar offenses, he was forced to impose a jail term.
"This time you stole a can of tomatoes. I am going to guess that there were six tomatoes in the can. Do you agree?"
The woman agreed.
"Then I sentence you to six nights in jail."
The husband jumped to his feet addressing the judge, "Your honor, may I approach the bench?"
"Well," said the judge, this is a bit unusual but I'll make an exception in this case. You may approach the bench."
The husband wasted no time getting up to the judge'* podium and leaning forward, he said in a low voice,
"She also stole a can of peas, your honor."
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