I finally the found it!!
#1
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I finally the found it!!
The women are gonna hate me for this, But I finally found their point system!!!
Here is a guide to the point system:
SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed (+1)
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows (0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
You leave the toilet seat up (-5)
You replace the toilet-paper roll when it is empty (0)
When the toilet-paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex (-1)
When the Kleenex runs out you shuffle slowly to the next bathroom (-2)
You go out to buy her Spring Fresh Extra Light Panty Liners with Wings (+5)
..you return with beer (-5)
You check out suspicious noise at night (0)
..and it is nothing (0)
....and it is something (+5)
....you pummel it with a six iron (+10)
......it is her father (-10)
SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS
You stay by her side the entire party (0)
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a drinking buddy (-2)
..named Tiffany (-4)
....Tiffany is a dancer (-6)
....Tiffany has implants (-
When mingling, you hold your mate'* hand and gaze at her lovingly (+1)
When mingling, you introduce her as "the old ball and chain" and pat her on the rump (-5)
When your mate points toward a good looking woman and asks you if you think she is attractive, you say "yes, but nowhere near as attractive as you" (+1)
..you say "yeah, but she is lousy in bed." (-6)
....that woman is her sister (-90)
You have one drink and that'* it (0)
You have more than a few drink and perform the tango with a poodle (-2)
You have a lot of drinks, vaguely remember being fingerprinted (-1
SATURDAY AFTERNOON
You go to the mall together (+3)
You go to the mall, drop her off at the entrance, then park the car (+4)
You go to the mall, drop her off at the entrance, then drive to a sports bar (-2)
You spend the day shopping for furniture and pretend to like it (+3)
You spend the day shopping for furniture and nap on a sectional (0)
You spend the day at a wholesale club buying in bulk (+3)
..most of it chips and beer (-6)
You tackle a large house hold project, such as painting the den (+15)
..or refinishing the floors (+16)
..or rewiring the basement (+17)
..or adding a second floor (+1
....or setting up a Nerf Ball hoop over the bathroom wastebasket (-6)
......and you are tickled pink about it (-15)
You visit her parents (0)
You visit her parent and actually make conversation (+3)
You visit her parent and stare vacantly at the TV (-3)
..and the TV is off (-6)
You spend the afternoon watching college football in your underwear (-6)
..and you didn't even go to college (-10)
....and it is not your underwear (-15)
HER BIRTHDAY
You take her out to dinner (0)
You take her out to dinner and it is not a sports bar (+1)
..okay, it is a sports bar (-2)
....and it'* "all you can eat" night (-3)
....and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team (-10)
You go to a nice pricey restaurant, hire a guitar player, and get up and sing (+4)
..if you stink (+2)
..if you are not half bad (+5)
..if you sing a Barry Manilow song and are escorted out to much applause (-2)
You give her a gift (0)
..it is a small appliance (-10)
..it is not a small appliance (+1)
..it is not chocolate (+2)
..it is something you will be paying off for months (+30)
You wait until the last minute and buy her a gift that day (-10)
..with her credit card (-30)
..and it is two sizes too big (-40)
THOUGHTFULNESS
You forget her birthday completely (-120)
You forget your anniversary (-30)
You forget to pick her up at the bus station (-45)
..which is in Newark, New Jersey (-50)
..and the pouring rain completely dissolves her leg cast (-60)
NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Go out with a pal (-5)
..and the pal is happily married (-4)
....and the pal is frighteningly single (-7)
......and he drives a mustang (-10)
.........with a personalized license plate "GR8 N BED" (-15)
You have a few beers (-9)
..and miss curfew by an hour (-12)
....and you didn't call (-20)
You get home at 3 am (-30)
..smelling of booze and cheap cigars (-40)
....and not wearing any pants (-50)
......is that a tattoo?! (-200)
HER NIGHT OUT
You stay home while she goes out with her annoying friends from work (+5)
She goes out with her annoying friends from work and she comes home late (+10)
..you wait up (+15)
She comes home late and drunk and you put her to bed (+20)
A NIGHT OUT TOGETHER
You take her to a movie (+2)
..a movie she likes (+4)
..a movie you hate (+6)
....a movie you like (-6)
......called "Deathcop 3" (-3)
........which features cyborgs having sex (-9)
...........you lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)
A NIGHT AT HOME
You watch TV together (0)
You rent a movie (+2)
..it is "Sense and Sensibility" (+3)
..you stay awake throughout (+5)
....you fall asleep (-1)
......you fall asleep and drool (-2)
FLOWERS
You buy her flowers only when it is expected (0)
You buy her flowers as a surprise, just for the heck of it (+20)
You give her wildflowers you have actually picked yourself (+30)
..and she contracts Lyme disease (-25)
YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
..and exercise to get rid ofit (+10)
....and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-5)
FINANCES
You spend a lot of money on something impractical (-5)
..something she could not use (-10)
....such as a motorized model airplane (-20)
......and she got a small appliance for her birthday (-40)
DRIVING
You lost the directions on a trip (-4)
..and end up getting lost (-10)
....in a bad part of town (-15)
......and meet the locals up-close and personal (-25)
.........and you know them (-60)
THE BIG QUESTION
She asks, "Do I look Fat?" (-5) (sensitive questions always start with a deficit)
You hesitate in responding (-10)
You reply, "Where?" (-35)
COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)
When she want to talk about a problem, you listen for over 30 minutes (+5)
..without looking at the TV (+10)
....she realized this is because you have fallen asleep (-20)
Here is a guide to the point system:
SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed (+1)
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows (0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
You leave the toilet seat up (-5)
You replace the toilet-paper roll when it is empty (0)
When the toilet-paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex (-1)
When the Kleenex runs out you shuffle slowly to the next bathroom (-2)
You go out to buy her Spring Fresh Extra Light Panty Liners with Wings (+5)
..you return with beer (-5)
You check out suspicious noise at night (0)
..and it is nothing (0)
....and it is something (+5)
....you pummel it with a six iron (+10)
......it is her father (-10)
SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS
You stay by her side the entire party (0)
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a drinking buddy (-2)
..named Tiffany (-4)
....Tiffany is a dancer (-6)
....Tiffany has implants (-
When mingling, you hold your mate'* hand and gaze at her lovingly (+1)
When mingling, you introduce her as "the old ball and chain" and pat her on the rump (-5)
When your mate points toward a good looking woman and asks you if you think she is attractive, you say "yes, but nowhere near as attractive as you" (+1)
..you say "yeah, but she is lousy in bed." (-6)
....that woman is her sister (-90)
You have one drink and that'* it (0)
You have more than a few drink and perform the tango with a poodle (-2)
You have a lot of drinks, vaguely remember being fingerprinted (-1
SATURDAY AFTERNOON
You go to the mall together (+3)
You go to the mall, drop her off at the entrance, then park the car (+4)
You go to the mall, drop her off at the entrance, then drive to a sports bar (-2)
You spend the day shopping for furniture and pretend to like it (+3)
You spend the day shopping for furniture and nap on a sectional (0)
You spend the day at a wholesale club buying in bulk (+3)
..most of it chips and beer (-6)
You tackle a large house hold project, such as painting the den (+15)
..or refinishing the floors (+16)
..or rewiring the basement (+17)
..or adding a second floor (+1
....or setting up a Nerf Ball hoop over the bathroom wastebasket (-6)
......and you are tickled pink about it (-15)
You visit her parents (0)
You visit her parent and actually make conversation (+3)
You visit her parent and stare vacantly at the TV (-3)
..and the TV is off (-6)
You spend the afternoon watching college football in your underwear (-6)
..and you didn't even go to college (-10)
....and it is not your underwear (-15)
HER BIRTHDAY
You take her out to dinner (0)
You take her out to dinner and it is not a sports bar (+1)
..okay, it is a sports bar (-2)
....and it'* "all you can eat" night (-3)
....and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team (-10)
You go to a nice pricey restaurant, hire a guitar player, and get up and sing (+4)
..if you stink (+2)
..if you are not half bad (+5)
..if you sing a Barry Manilow song and are escorted out to much applause (-2)
You give her a gift (0)
..it is a small appliance (-10)
..it is not a small appliance (+1)
..it is not chocolate (+2)
..it is something you will be paying off for months (+30)
You wait until the last minute and buy her a gift that day (-10)
..with her credit card (-30)
..and it is two sizes too big (-40)
THOUGHTFULNESS
You forget her birthday completely (-120)
You forget your anniversary (-30)
You forget to pick her up at the bus station (-45)
..which is in Newark, New Jersey (-50)
..and the pouring rain completely dissolves her leg cast (-60)
NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Go out with a pal (-5)
..and the pal is happily married (-4)
....and the pal is frighteningly single (-7)
......and he drives a mustang (-10)
.........with a personalized license plate "GR8 N BED" (-15)
You have a few beers (-9)
..and miss curfew by an hour (-12)
....and you didn't call (-20)
You get home at 3 am (-30)
..smelling of booze and cheap cigars (-40)
....and not wearing any pants (-50)
......is that a tattoo?! (-200)
HER NIGHT OUT
You stay home while she goes out with her annoying friends from work (+5)
She goes out with her annoying friends from work and she comes home late (+10)
..you wait up (+15)
She comes home late and drunk and you put her to bed (+20)
A NIGHT OUT TOGETHER
You take her to a movie (+2)
..a movie she likes (+4)
..a movie you hate (+6)
....a movie you like (-6)
......called "Deathcop 3" (-3)
........which features cyborgs having sex (-9)
...........you lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)
A NIGHT AT HOME
You watch TV together (0)
You rent a movie (+2)
..it is "Sense and Sensibility" (+3)
..you stay awake throughout (+5)
....you fall asleep (-1)
......you fall asleep and drool (-2)
FLOWERS
You buy her flowers only when it is expected (0)
You buy her flowers as a surprise, just for the heck of it (+20)
You give her wildflowers you have actually picked yourself (+30)
..and she contracts Lyme disease (-25)
YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
..and exercise to get rid ofit (+10)
....and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-5)
FINANCES
You spend a lot of money on something impractical (-5)
..something she could not use (-10)
....such as a motorized model airplane (-20)
......and she got a small appliance for her birthday (-40)
DRIVING
You lost the directions on a trip (-4)
..and end up getting lost (-10)
....in a bad part of town (-15)
......and meet the locals up-close and personal (-25)
.........and you know them (-60)
THE BIG QUESTION
She asks, "Do I look Fat?" (-5) (sensitive questions always start with a deficit)
You hesitate in responding (-10)
You reply, "Where?" (-35)
COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)
When she want to talk about a problem, you listen for over 30 minutes (+5)
..without looking at the TV (+10)
....she realized this is because you have fallen asleep (-20)
#4
DINOSAURUS BOOSTUS
Expert Gearhead
Originally Posted by SSE14U24ME
You BOTH have a negative 2,000,165,000 demerits......OFF with their heads!
#5
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True Car Nut
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Right in front of you
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Originally Posted by BillBoost37
Originally Posted by SSE14U24ME
You BOTH have a negative 2,000,165,000 demerits......OFF with their heads!
PS- Melissa is gonna hurt you when she see'* that one.
#6
DINOSAURUS BOOSTUS
Expert Gearhead
Originally Posted by SSE14U24ME
Originally Posted by BillBoost37
Originally Posted by SSE14U24ME
You BOTH have a negative 2,000,165,000 demerits......OFF with their heads!
PS- Melissa is gonna hurt you when she see'* that one.
#7
Originally Posted by BillBoost37
Originally Posted by SSE14U24ME
Originally Posted by BillBoost37
Originally Posted by SSE14U24ME
You BOTH have a negative 2,000,165,000 demerits......OFF with their heads!
PS- Melissa is gonna hurt you when she see'* that one.
I would run and hide before Melissa gets a hold of you!!!!!
#8
DINOSAURUS BOOSTUS
Expert Gearhead
Originally Posted by PontiacMom
I would run and hide before Melissa gets a hold of you!!!!!
(No..it'* not an oppression comment!)
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