I finally the found it!!
The women are gonna hate me for this, But I finally found their point system!!!
Here is a guide to the point system: SIMPLE DUTIES You make the bed (+1) You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows (0) You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1) You leave the toilet seat up (-5) You replace the toilet-paper roll when it is empty (0) When the toilet-paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex (-1) When the Kleenex runs out you shuffle slowly to the next bathroom (-2) You go out to buy her Spring Fresh Extra Light Panty Liners with Wings (+5) ..you return with beer (-5) You check out suspicious noise at night (0) ..and it is nothing (0) ....and it is something (+5) ....you pummel it with a six iron (+10) ......it is her father (-10) SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS You stay by her side the entire party (0) You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a drinking buddy (-2) ..named Tiffany (-4) ....Tiffany is a dancer (-6) ....Tiffany has implants (-8) When mingling, you hold your mate's hand and gaze at her lovingly (+1) When mingling, you introduce her as "the old ball and chain" and pat her on the rump (-5) When your mate points toward a good looking woman and asks you if you think she is attractive, you say "yes, but nowhere near as attractive as you" (+1) ..you say "yeah, but she is lousy in bed." (-6) ....that woman is her sister (-90) You have one drink and that's it (0) You have more than a few drink and perform the tango with a poodle (-2) You have a lot of drinks, vaguely remember being fingerprinted (-18) SATURDAY AFTERNOON You go to the mall together (+3) You go to the mall, drop her off at the entrance, then park the car (+4) You go to the mall, drop her off at the entrance, then drive to a sports bar (-2) You spend the day shopping for furniture and pretend to like it (+3) You spend the day shopping for furniture and nap on a sectional (0) You spend the day at a wholesale club buying in bulk (+3) ..most of it chips and beer (-6) You tackle a large house hold project, such as painting the den (+15) ..or refinishing the floors (+16) ..or rewiring the basement (+17) ..or adding a second floor (+18) ....or setting up a Nerf Ball hoop over the bathroom wastebasket (-6) ......and you are tickled pink about it (-15) You visit her parents (0) You visit her parent and actually make conversation (+3) You visit her parent and stare vacantly at the TV (-3) ..and the TV is off (-6) You spend the afternoon watching college football in your underwear (-6) ..and you didn't even go to college (-10) ....and it is not your underwear (-15) HER BIRTHDAY You take her out to dinner (0) You take her out to dinner and it is not a sports bar (+1) ..okay, it is a sports bar (-2) ....and it's "all you can eat" night (-3) ....and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team (-10) You go to a nice pricey restaurant, hire a guitar player, and get up and sing (+4) ..if you stink (+2) ..if you are not half bad (+5) ..if you sing a Barry Manilow song and are escorted out to much applause (-2) You give her a gift (0) ..it is a small appliance (-10) ..it is not a small appliance (+1) ..it is not chocolate (+2) ..it is something you will be paying off for months (+30) You wait until the last minute and buy her a gift that day (-10) ..with her credit card (-30) ..and it is two sizes too big (-40) THOUGHTFULNESS You forget her birthday completely (-120) You forget your anniversary (-30) You forget to pick her up at the bus station (-45) ..which is in Newark, New Jersey (-50) ..and the pouring rain completely dissolves her leg cast (-60) NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS Go out with a pal (-5) ..and the pal is happily married (-4) ....and the pal is frighteningly single (-7) ......and he drives a mustang (-10) .........with a personalized license plate "GR8 N BED" (-15) You have a few beers (-9) ..and miss curfew by an hour (-12) ....and you didn't call (-20) You get home at 3 am (-30) ..smelling of booze and cheap cigars (-40) ....and not wearing any pants (-50) ......is that a tattoo?! (-200) HER NIGHT OUT You stay home while she goes out with her annoying friends from work (+5) She goes out with her annoying friends from work and she comes home late (+10) ..you wait up (+15) She comes home late and drunk and you put her to bed (+20) A NIGHT OUT TOGETHER You take her to a movie (+2) ..a movie she likes (+4) ..a movie you hate (+6) ....a movie you like (-6) ......called "Deathcop 3" (-3) ........which features cyborgs having sex (-9) ...........you lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15) A NIGHT AT HOME You watch TV together (0) You rent a movie (+2) ..it is "Sense and Sensibility" (+3) ..you stay awake throughout (+5) ....you fall asleep (-1) ......you fall asleep and drool (-2) FLOWERS You buy her flowers only when it is expected (0) You buy her flowers as a surprise, just for the heck of it (+20) You give her wildflowers you have actually picked yourself (+30) ..and she contracts Lyme disease (-25) YOUR PHYSIQUE You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15) ..and exercise to get rid ofit (+10) ....and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-5) FINANCES You spend a lot of money on something impractical (-5) ..something she could not use (-10) ....such as a motorized model airplane (-20) ......and she got a small appliance for her birthday (-40) DRIVING You lost the directions on a trip (-4) ..and end up getting lost (-10) ....in a bad part of town (-15) ......and meet the locals up-close and personal (-25) .........and you know them (-60) THE BIG QUESTION She asks, "Do I look Fat?" (-5) (sensitive questions always start with a deficit) You hesitate in responding (-10) You reply, "Where?" (-35) COMMUNICATION When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0) When she want to talk about a problem, you listen for over 30 minutes (+5) ..without looking at the TV (+10) ....she realized this is because you have fallen asleep (-20) |
Very very true...
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:bwhack: You BOTH have a negative 2,000,165,000 demerits......OFF with their heads! :twisted:
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Originally Posted by SSE14U24ME
:bwhack: You BOTH have a negative 2,000,165,000 demerits......OFF with their heads! :twisted:
|
Originally Posted by BillBoost37
Originally Posted by SSE14U24ME
:bwhack: You BOTH have a negative 2,000,165,000 demerits......OFF with their heads! :twisted:
PS- Melissa is gonna hurt you when she see's that one. :lol: |
Originally Posted by SSE14U24ME
Originally Posted by BillBoost37
Originally Posted by SSE14U24ME
:bwhack: You BOTH have a negative 2,000,165,000 demerits......OFF with their heads! :twisted:
PS- Melissa is gonna hurt you when she see's that one. :lol: |
Originally Posted by BillBoost37
Originally Posted by SSE14U24ME
Originally Posted by BillBoost37
Originally Posted by SSE14U24ME
:bwhack: You BOTH have a negative 2,000,165,000 demerits......OFF with their heads! :twisted:
PS- Melissa is gonna hurt you when she see's that one. :lol: I would run and hide before Melissa gets a hold of you!!!!! |
Originally Posted by PontiacMom
I would run and hide before Melissa gets a hold of you!!!!!
(No..it's not an oppression comment!) |
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